Shadows of the Past
by Emeraldax
Summary: [Completed] Alternate Universe. Zach Slater leads an empty existence in Las Vegas. Then he meets a darkhaired, beautiful amnesiac who changes his life. In this universe, the amnesiac is not Maria Santos, it is Anna Devane.
1. may212000

May 21, 2000

Zach looked up from his files as his assistant, Beverly, walked in. She handed him a cup of coffee. "I just brewed some coffee that my daughter brought back from Seattle. I thought you might like a cup." Zach grinned and picked up the cup. "I always tell you that bringing me coffee is not in your job description, yet you always insist on doing it." Beverly grinned back, but chose to change the subject. "That security expert you're eager to hire has just arrived." Zach slowly nodded his head. "Amanda Dover? Good work, Beverly. I'll be ready to see her in five minutes." Beverly walked out the door, and Zach took a sip of the coffee. Damn, it was good. Using his five minutes to the fullest, he took another look at the dossier of Amanda Dover.

What he already knew was that over the past two years she had slowly and quietly been making a name for herself as a top notch security expert. She obtained new clients strictly through word of mouth. She didn't advertise and she didn't do any networking. In fact, no one would even know she was in business if it weren't for former clients bragging about her excellent work. The dossier fleshed out her past, but only a very little bit. During the four years prior to beginning her business, she was taking classes and apprenticing with several of the leading experts that still preferred to fly solo. Before she started training, there was a record of her living in Canada for two years with a man named Bart Smith, who was apparently an adoptive father of sorts. Before 1992, however, there was no record of her at all. The private investigator suspected that this woman had not been Amanda Dover all her life.

There was a knock at the door. Five minutes, on the dot. Beverly entered, then held the door open for the woman who followed. She was on the short side of average, but she seemed to have a presence about her that made her seem taller. She had dark hair, dark eyes and looked to be in her mid 30s. She was beautiful and exotic, though she played down her beauty by wearing no makeup and her hair back in a sensible bun. She was wearing a severe, yet stylish dark business suit and carried a leather portfolio. The only thing missing was a pair of horn-rimmed glasses. He was glad that she wasn't wearing any – her eyes were large and expressive. Zach stood up and came around the desk. He held out his hand. "Zach Slater." She shook his hand. "Amanda Dover." From her accent, she was apparently English.

Zach indicated a corner of his office that was occupied by a loveseat and armchair. "Let's sit over here, shall we?" She nodded again and sat down on the loveseat, placing the portfolio on her knees. "Ms. Dover, I found out about you through Jeremy Braxton. He told me that he hired you to shadow the work being done by the agency who designed and installed the security system for his new casino. A typical thing for Jeremy to do. This was his first casino, and he is rather paranoid about his profits getting stolen out from under him. He said that your expertise and discretion were above reproach. I've heard similar reports from some of your other clients. Tell me, do you already have your next project lined up?" She shook her head. "I've had a few offers that I am considering, but haven't accepted any yet."

Zach leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I'll get right to the point. How would you like to design your own security system? I'm planning to build another casino, and I want everything about it be the most innovative and up-to-date in the entire business. I have a hunch that _you_ are what I want." She raised one eyebrow. He smiled. Well, she didn't fluster easily, that was for sure. She leaned back with a thoughtful expression. "My own design, eh? That's certainly very tempting. What makes you think that I have the ability to carry it off?" Zach shrugged. "As I said before, it's a hunch. I was impressed by how quickly you've risen in the ranks of the security field. Only two years in business and already you have the savvy to accomplish things that usually takes years of experience." Her head cocked to one side. "I was in apprenticeships before I started my business." Zach nodded. "Only four years. And your style is very different from the people that you trained under. Its almost as if you already knew what you were doing before you came to them."

There was a lengthy pause as they assessed each other. Amanda licked her lips, whether as a sign or nervousness or irritation, Zach couldn't tell. "Mr. Slater…" Zach interrupted her, "Oh, one other thing. The casino I plan to build is overseas. Have you done much travel, internationally?" There was another pause. "Well, I am from Britain." Zach nodded. "So, you're a naturalized citizen?" She smiled coldly. "Naturally." He nodded again. "Any travel, besides that?" She swallowed. "I lived in Canada for awhile." Zach picked up a pen and started fiddling with it. "I don't suppose it was in Quebec? It would be a big plus if you knew French. The casino will be in Monte Carlo." She stared off in the distance for a moment. "Monte Carlo. The setting for one of my favorite films." Zach raised his eyebrow. "To Catch a Thief." She smiled, a genuine smile that lit up her face. "Exactly." Zach tapped the pen. "So do you happen to know French?" She stared at her portfolio for a moment, then said quietly. "Yes, yes I do." Zach smiled triumphantly. "Yet another reason that you're perfect for the job."

Amanda looked up. "May I ask a question? If your casino is going to be in Monte Carlo, wouldn't you want to have someone local working on this? Someone from Monaco would have the best understanding of the local businesses, the lay of the land, the necessary permits and licenses, the culture. I may know French, but I don't know…Monte Carlo." The hesitation at the end intrigued Zach. "Are you not sure whether you've been to Monte Carlo?" She pressed her lips together firmly. "I took a whirlwind tour through Europe once. After awhile, everything was a blur. Anyway, back to my question?" Zach tented his fingers. "The architect, certainly, is from Monaco. As will be the general manager and many other principles, including the person who will become the security officer. I wanted the security expert who designs the system to be from Las Vegas. It is my own personal method of checks and balances. This is my casino, I want some decisions to be mine, and under my control." Amanda gave him an approving nod. "I like the way you think. It is important for a client to have a similar level of paranoia to my own. That's why I enjoyed working with your friend, Jeremy." Zach grinned.

"Tell me something, Mr. Slater. Is it true you won this casino in a poker hand?" Zach nodded. "Yes, I did. One of the greatest turning points of my entire life." She tilted her head. "I'm sure. What did you do before that?" Zach waved his hand around. "I've had quite a full life. I've done cattle ranching, working on an oil rig, flying cargo planes, setting explosives to build roads." He shrugged. Her eyebrows went up. "That is full. I bet your parents are glad you settled down finally to become a casino mogul." Zach's smile was enigmatic. "My parents and I parted company a long time ago. They are no longer in the picture." Amanda's smile faded. "I have a couple of more questions about your plans for your new casino."

They talked specifics for a few more minutes. Then, Amanda cleared her throat. "Well, Mr. Slater, I'll consider your offer and get back to you tomorrow with my answer. If I am unable to do it, I'm sure I can recommend someone for the job." She stood up. Zach stood up and held out his hand. "I hope you'll take it. Think about it, Ms. Dover. If you are successful on this project, you could make quite a name for yourself." She smiled and shook her head. "I'm not interested in that, Mr. Slater. My goal is always to do a good job. I am only happy if I exceed my personal best." She shook his hand, and Zach had to forcefully prevent himself from holding on to her hand longer than necessary. Not only was he completely intrigued by her mysterious past, but he also found her incredibly alluring.

As she walked out the door, he wondered who she had been before she became Amanda Dover. Had she faked her death like he had? Was she running from someone? He was entirely confident that she would take the job. He was also confident that he would find out her secret. He longed to feel kinship with someone. Since the age of 17, half his life ago, he had walked through life completely alone. No matter how many people he met, friendships he formed, or lovers he took, he was always alone.

When Amanda walked out of the doors of the casino, into the desert air, she was finally able to take a deep breath. Being in Zach Slater's office hadn't been oppressive, but the air had felt heavy with something. Anticipation? She smirked. She certainly wasn't anticipating that he would pull her into a smoldering kiss, but he had held her hand a fraction of a second longer than necessary. Heavens, but he was an attractive man. She'd seen pictures of him in the newspaper, but when she walked into his office, his magnetism engulfed her.

She hadn't expected him to ask so many probing questions about her life, but she realized that she was stupid not to have anticipated them. A man like him didn't hire a security expert without looking into her past. Fortunately, until now, her clients had not cared about anything beyond her career-advancing activities. No one, until now, had noticed that her history hit a dead end eight years ago. Slater knew. He knew or he wouldn't have asked those questions. She wondered if he knew that she had probed into his past as well. As soon as she had gotten the call from his assistant asking her to meet with him, she had put her quickest-working source to finding out more about him.

Amanda was willing to bet that she found out more than anyone else in this town who had looked into his past. Otherwise, there would have been questions before now about why any concrete evidence of Zach Slater did not exist prior to six years ago. There were some phony paper trails, which her source saw through after a bit of digging. His past was a clean slate, just like hers. The big question was whether it was a clean slate in his head, the way it was in hers. People rewrite their history all the time, but Amanda had been forced to create a new life from scratch because she had no idea who she was. The farthest her memory went back was the morning she woke up in Bart's cabin, scared and in a great deal of physical pain.

Amanda had asked a couple of questions of her own, and had not gotten anything satisfactory. His answer about his parents had been particularly cagey. She could say the same thing about her parents, even though she had no memory of them whatsoever. The hardest part about creating her new identity was the lies she had to tell. She knew deep in her soul that at some point in her life she had been forced to tell a great deal of lies. Now, to tell one was like a knife in her heart every time. It was entirely possible that she had been to Monte Carlo at some point, but the whirlwind tour of Europe was a fabrication. When she left Canada and came to the U.S., she had stayed put. The fewer official documents she had to forge, the better.

Amanda sat down on a nearby bench. So that left the question of whether she should take this job. She definitely shouldn't take it. Not because she didn't really know French. Oh, she was quite fluent in French. She was also fluent in German, Spanish, and even Russian. She closed her eyes, and the images from her dreams flashed before her. She was gripping a gun, chasing someone down, holding the gun to his head when she finally caught up. A tear threatened to spill down her cheek as she wondered if the man from her dream had been a good person, or bad. Or did he not exist and it was just a stupid dream?

Amanda stood up and started walking again. If she went to Monte Carlo, would she run into someone she knew? Maybe not. She had actually taken a big risk in moving to Las Vegas. It was such a popular tourist and conference destination, that it would seem likely that someone she knew would end up there sooner or later. But so far her talent for blending in with the crowds had served her well. The fact was that she didn't _want_ to know who she had been before. The dreams she had been having for eight years were always frightening, always full of disturbing images. What if she discovered who she was and found out that she was wanted for murder? She could be risking a prison sentence or even the death penalty. It wasn't worth it. But living in the dark certainly had its price. She was so alone. She ached from the emptiness inside her. That was one reason that Zach Slater intrigued her. He seemed to have that same ache. He was also missing a great deal of his history. And she wanted to know why.


	2. nov232000

November 23, 2000

Amanda trudged into her apartment, tossing her portfolio on the side table. She flopped onto the couch, pulling the clips out of her bun so that her hair could hang free. Mmm…much better. She kicked off her shoes and stretched out on the cushions. Everything was set for the groundbreaking ceremony tomorrow morning. Zach had wanted every "i" to be dotted and every "t" to be crossed. Once construction started, there would be no room for mistakes or extensive revisions. Amanda smiled. Zach was very demanding, but not unreasonably demanding. He garnered a lot of respect from his employees and all the contractors. And as a result, they gave him their best. Amanda was perfectly sure that the construction of the casino and hotel would go off without a hitch. Luc Fournier, the architect, was always a bundle of nerves, but Zach had rendered him serene as a kitten by the day's end.

Amanda's thoughts drifted across the Atlantic, to the U.S. People would be in bed by now, sleeping off their turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie. Their alarms would be set to get up early and shop. Thanksgiving. Being an American holiday, it barely rated a blip in Monaco. Because of her British accent, no one had wished her a happy holiday. Interestingly enough, Zach had not mentioned it at all, either. It was as if the holiday didn't exist for him. Amanda could not ignore it, however. Her subconscious would not let her. Like clockwork, every Wednesday before Thanksgiving, for the past eight years, Amanda would have her one and only happy dream. In it, she was walking up the stairs of a brownstone. She would knock on the door, and it would swing open automatically. She would step inside, and her senses would be assaulted. The merry chatter of friendly voices. The warm colors of harvest decorations. The smell of the turkey. The sensation that someone was hugging her. She always woke up from this dream, sobbing. Because of this dream, she knew that she had been in the U.S. prior to ending up in Canada. She just had no idea where. Oddly enough, she didn't dream at Christmas-time. She suspected it was because her subconscious wasn't even that cruel.

Amanda got up and wandered to her kitchenette. She wondered what memories of Thanksgiving occupied Zach's mind. She sighed as she opened the refrigerator. She always had questions like this, and none of them were ever answered. In six months of working with the man, she had uncovered zilch about what had happened in his past. She smirked as she leaned over to examine the contents. He hadn't learned anything about her as well. Not for lack of trying. The verbal swordfighting was exhausting at times, but also stimulating. Amanda shook her head. Unfortunately both of them were just too stubborn to be the one to open up first. She closed the refrigerator. There wasn't a darn thing she wanted to eat. What she really desired was a nice glass of wine, and she was all out. She tapped her fingers on the counter. It was Thanksgiving, she should splurge. Go out and have something to eat, and raise a glass silently to her adoptive country.

Amanda went into her bedroom to find something to wear. She missed the U.S. Monaco was beautiful, but it wasn't home. Home? She shook her head. Strange word to use. Her eyes fell on a dress that she hadn't worn yet. She had seen it while browsing one day, and had taken a liking to it. Without a clue as to what she might wear it for, she had bought it anyway. It was steel gray, with a slight shimmer to it, as if it aspired to be silver, but didn't want to be flashy about it. It was sleeveless, with a cowl neckline. It draped like a sheath, down to just below her knee. Amanda didn't wear dresses very much. Why had she bought this one? Oh, who was she kidding? She bought it because of Zach's gray suit. Amanda sat down on the bed and sighed. Every time he wore that gray suit, she wanted to melt away. When she saw the dress, it was obviously the perfect compliment to his suit, and so she had bought it.

She shook her head in self-disgust. She and Zach had certainly spent a lot of time together over the last six months, but none of it was on a dinner date. Zach was all business. The frustrating thing was that she couldn't be quite sure if it was because he had a policy against dating employees, or if he just wasn't that into her. He certainly wanted to find out her secret, but he gave no indication of whether he wanted to find out what she looked like naked. Amanda stood up before her thoughts could stray any further. She pulled the dress off the hanger. She would wear it tonight. She'd go to that piano bar that everyone was talking about.

Zach arrived at Musique with Pietro and Silvia Moretti They had been to the Seasons casino in Las Vegas many times. They were now investors in the Seasons Monaco venture. They were seated at a small, intimate round table next to the window. Pietro lifted his glass of champagne. "To the groundbreaking tomorrow." Silvia and Zach lifted theirs and they clinked glasses. Silvia smiled. "I am curious why you are not in the U.S. during one of their important holidays."" Zach gave her an enigmatic smile. "Thanksgiving is for families. I have no family. Oh, don't look so sad, Silvia. I thrive on solitude." A statement that once was true, but hasn't been recently. Silvia elbowed him. "With that sharp suit you are wearing, you will have the women surrounding you tonight. My advice is to pick one and start a new family." She nodded as if it was the last word. Zach chuckled. At that moment, he happened to look up at the entrance and see Amanda standing there.

It was the first time he had seen her in anything but those godawful business suits. Even worse, they were pantsuits, so he had no earthly idea what her legs looked like. Tonight she wore a dress. A dress that subtly hugged her curves, showed off her legs and accentuated her shoulders. The dress had a sort of draping neckline, that dipped far enough down that if he were standing next to her he would probably be able to see whether she was wearing a bra. He was annoyed to find himself really wanting to know if she was wearing a bra. Zach wondered who would be the lucky man who found out. She looked amazing.

He saw her make her way to the bar and seat herself next to the enormous grand piano. She placed an order with the bartender, then began to study the appetizer menu. Zach was puzzled. Surely whoever she was meeting would not have been such a classless idiot as to make her wait for him at the restaurant. She certainly couldn't be here alone, not dressed like that. Too late, Zach realized that he had been staring at Amanda for quite awhile. Silvia had taken notice. "Who is that lovely woman? She looks familiar." Zach cleared his throat. "That is Amanda Dover, the security expert I hired to design the security system for the casino. You met her this morning." Silvia brightened. "The dour girl in the pantsuit! I remember. Well, well, as you Americans say, she cleans up nicely, eh?"

Amanda was looking around the room at the décor, and when her eyes skimmed their table, Silvia waved. Zach stifled a groan. If Amanda come over, then he would get to see the dress in close proximity. Bad idea. Amanda was now focused on their table, and when she locked eyes with Zach, she looked very uncomfortable. That was odd, why would she be upset to see him? She sat there frozen, while Silvia beckoned her over. She stood up, reluctantly it seemed, and walked over. Silvia beamed triumphantly. "Ms. Dover, do you remember us? I am Silvia Moretti, and this is my husband, Pietro." Amanda flashed a smile. She was wearing make up tonight. It wasn't applied heavily – just enough to accentuate her exotic features. "Of course I remember you. You're investors in the casino, right?" Pietro pulled out the fourth chair next to Zach. "Yes, that is correct. Please sit, join us." Amanda's smile dimmed slightly, but she obviously knew about investor politics, because she obeyed. As she sat, some of the candlelight shimmered in her hair. She leaned down to pick up her clutch purse, which had fallen to the floor. Definitely not wearing a bra.

A waiter brought a glass for Amanda, and refilled everyone else's glass. They sipped their champagne and chatted pleasantly. Zach noticed a gleam in Silvia's eyes. She bestowed her best maternal smile on Amanda. "Pietro and I feel so secure about our investment in Zachary's casino, and do you know why? Zachary has told us all about the security system you designed, he cannot rave enough about it. He's quite taken with your…professional abilities. It makes me feel confident that our money will not be stolen by thieves or con artists." Amanda was very amused. "I am grateful to Zach for believing in my abilities and offering me this very challenging job." Silvia beamed. "I wish we could spend some more time with you, Amanda, because you are so charming. However, Pietro promised me earlier that he would take me dancing, and I must make sure that he keeps his promise." Pietro looked startled, and Zach narrowed his eyes. As far as he knew, they had planned to have dinner with him. "You can dance here, of course. The pianist will be out any minute." Silvia waved her hand. "It is not good dancing music. At least, not the type of dancing I want to do." Pietro looked stricken, but apparently knew to keep his mouth shut. Silvia smiled warmly. "We will leave you two alone to finish your date."

Amanda stared at her. "Date? You think we're on a date?" Silvia looked confused. Zach didn't buy it. "You mean you two aren't together? I apologize if I misspoke. I think it must be your clothing. The two of you match. You complement each other very well." Zach realized for the first time that they wore the same color – they did seem to look like a couple. Amanda, however, didn't seem awestruck by the revelation. In fact, her cheeks looked a little darker than they had before. She cleared her throat. "We're just colleagues. It is merely a coincidence that we are both at the same restaurant on the same night…wearing matching outfits." Her smile wavered. Silvia looked unconvinced. She patted Amanda's hand. "We shall see you at the groundbreaking ceremony tomorrow. Ciao!" The Morettis swept out of the restaurant.

Amanda glanced over at Zach. She wondered what he was thinking. It was a complete shock when she looked around the room and saw Zach sitting with the Morettis. And he was wearing the gray suit. Of all the bizarre coincidences. When she was walking towards their table, she thought she saw admiration in Zach's eyes. Maybe he wasn't completely immune to her. Right now, his expression was unreadable. "It occurred to me tonight, Amanda, that you might have been interested in flying back to the U.S. to celebrate Thanksgiving with friends or family. I hope I didn't cause you any disappointment by scheduling the groundbreaking for this week?" She shook her head. "I have no family. My…adoptive father, Bart, passed away six years ago." Before Zach could respond, his cell phone rang. He glanced at the display. "It's Luc, again. I thought I had him calmed down. If you'll excuse me for a moment." He stood up and went out into the foyer of the restaurant.

Amanda slumped back in her seat a little bit. That was close. She might have had to tell a lot of lies if he went further in his questioning. She became aware of someone standing nearby, watching her. She looked over and saw a man. He was tall and superficially handsome. He smiled and walked over to her. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something about this man creeped her out. "Alexandra! Darling, I haven't seen you in years. You look absolutely divine. Tell me, why haven't I heard from you in so long? It's like you dropped off the face of the earth." The blood drained from Amanda's face. Was this it? Was this going to be the person who would tell her who she was? Alexandra…Alexandra… The name was meaningless to her. This man, with the smile of a shark, was a complete stranger. Nothing triggered her memory at all. Calm down…it was possible he had her confused with someone else. "I beg your pardon? I don't believe we've met." The man's smile faltered and his eyes narrowed. "Alexandra…are you playing games with me?" She shrugged apologetically. "I'm afraid I have no idea who you are." He assessed her for a few minutes. "I…I think you're right. You are the spitting image of Alexandra, but…there is something different. Your eyes don't have the soft gold flecks that she has. There are a few other things as well. I apologize for making you uncomfortable. Really, you could be Alexandra's twin. Please forgive the intrusion." He made a slight bow and then left.

Amanda felt her whole body start to shake. She had thought for a moment there that her identity would finally be revealed, whether she wanted it to or not. Okay, so she wasn't Alexandra. But he did say she could be her twin. _Was_ she Alexandra's twin? She groaned silently. Anything was possible. It did seem like a strange coincidence that she had chosen a name similar to the name Alexandra. The man talked about not seeing Alexandra in years. Did she suffer a similar fate? Was she dead? Amanda put her head in her hands. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She had to leave. She had to process this in private. She stood up, and collided with someone. She lifted her head and saw Zach standing there, a grave look on his face. "What did that man say to you? Did he threaten you in some way?" Amanda felt a headache coming on. "Zach, I need to leave this place. Please let me by." He moved out of her way. When she headed for the exit, he followed her.

When she was finally out in the night air, she took a deep breath. Much better. Amanda stood on the sidewalk for a moment, staring into space, as if not sure what was supposed to happen next. After awhile, she became aware that tears were streaming down her face. A sob escaped her, and she felt an arm around her. Zach hailed a taxi, and then bundled her into it when it arrived. Neither spoke a word until they had reached Amanda's apartment.

Amanda sat on the couch, with her head in her hands, silently sobbing. Zach looked out the window for a little while. The time for games was over. When he had seen that man talking to Amanda, and the look on her face like she was staring at death, his blood ran cold. Zach knew it had something to do with her past, and that whatever she was hiding was far more dangerous than his own secret. He wanted to keep Amanda safe, and knew that if she was ever going to open up, she needed to trust him.

"I'm going to tell you a story, Amanda." She looked up at him, as if startled to see him in her living room. "I was the first born son of a very rich and powerful man. He was very ruthless, and he had plans for me. Growing up in that house, I felt….suffocated. My father was a terrible man, and he wanted to pass on his so-called genius to me. Being the heir to such a legacy ate me alive. I wanted out, I wanted to be free. My younger brother helped me…he…helped me fake my death." Amanda's eyes widened in shock. "I was seventeen years old. We engineered a car accident. And we made sure that the fire was so intense that the only thing left were my ashes." Amanda gaped at him. "About six years ago, I was in need of a more permanent identity. My brother's roommate died, and we decided that I would use his identity. Ever since then, I've been Zach Slater."

Amanda leaned her head back on the couch. Unbelievable. "So what is your real identity?" Zach cocked his head. "It's your turn, Amanda," he said, quietly. She felt lightheaded as she realized what was happening. Zach knew that something had profoundly upset her tonight, and he somehow knew that it had to do with her missing past. So in order to get her to spill, he shared his secret with her first. She stood up and started to pace. She gathered her thoughts for a few minutes, then turned and looked at Zach. "You chose to walk away from your past. You deliberately created a new identity, because you wanted nothing to do with the old one. And whether you like it or not, you still remember everything about it. Frankly, I'm envious that you have the luxury of knowing what you left behind, and knowing that you made the right choice for yourself. I don't have that luxury. Every day of my life I second-guess the decision I made to become Amanda Dover. I could probably easily find out who I was before. But I'm afraid to. I'm afraid of what…of _who_ I'll find." She paused as her throat constricted.

Zach stared at her quizzically. "I don't understand. You don't know who you were before?" Amanda shook her head, the words rushing out of her in a torrent. "I have no memory beyond eight years ago…when I woke up in Bart Smith's cabin. He found me near death, washed up on shore. He nursed me back to health, but it took a long time. I was racked with pain all the time, and I had seizures. He was afraid to take me to the hospital because in my sleep I would mumble things that frightened him. And I would tell him about my dreams. The dreams I still have to this day about…about guns and car chases and explosions and…and killing people. That's why, when I got better, I didn't try to find out who I am. I'm afraid I might be wanted for murder. Or if I'm one of the good guys, maybe there are some criminals that want revenge. What if the trauma I suffered wasn't because of an accident? What if someone tried to murder me? If I revealed myself, they might want to finish the job."

Zach sat down, completely stunned. Whatever he had expected, it certainly wasn't this. "What about your family? Surely someone grieved for you?" Her face crumpled. "If I do have a family that loved me, isn't it better that I stay dead? If I turn up alive, it might leave them even more destroyed when whoever wants me gone succeeds for real this time." She looked out the window, resting her head against the glass. "I know one thing for sure. A gynecologist examined me, and confirmed that I have had a child. Even if she hadn't said anything, I would have known. Sometimes I dream about a little girl. With dark hair and freckles and the cutest upturned nose." A keening sound rose in her throat, and Zach leapt up from the couch to envelop her in his arms. He led her to the couch, and rocked her as she sobbed.

When she was more calm again, Zach asked her about the man in the restaurant. She told him about his initial belief that she was someone named Alexandra. Zach was a bit startled at first. His real first name is Alexander. But then Amanda told him that the man decided that she wasn't Alexandra after all. "When he walked away, I had so many possibilities running through my head that I couldn't handle it." Zach rubber her arms. "I can't even imagine how incredibly hard this has been for you. You were right, before. I can sleep at night knowing that what I did was the right thing. But you probably doubt yourself all the time. I could try to find out who you are, Amanda. I've got some powerful resources at my disposal." She shook her head. "I don't know what we would be up against. Anything at all could trigger some sort of alert. They could easily find out who I am before I even get the answer myself. Thank you for wanting to help, but it is too risky."

She leaned her head on Zach's shoulder. "I do feel that a weight has been lifted by telling you all this. Carrying a secret this huge has been oppressive." Zach nodded. "I know. No one other than my brother has known the truth about me. I've had to always be on my guard." He paused for a moment. "My real name is Alexander Cambias, Junior." She looked up at him, startled. "I know that name. Alexander Cambias approached me once about doing a security job for him. I turned him down because there was something about him that I profoundly disliked. That was your father?" He nodded. Amanda sat up a little and looked into his eyes. "Thank you, Zach, for trusting me with your secret. I wanted so much to trust you, but…" He caressed her cheek. "I understand. Your secret is potentially more dangerous than mine. Because of your memory loss, you have no idea how anyone is connected to you. That is a very frightening position to be in. I will protect your secret, Amanda. I will help you in any way you need." Her relief was palpable. Zach gazed down at her, amazed at this incredible woman who had survived so much horror.

Amanda felt all her troubled emotions melt away as Zach held her to him, looking at her contemplatively. The shock of the evening's events was being replaced by awareness of his body against hers. For heaven's sake, she thought, was he going to continue holding her like a supportive friend or was he ever going to kiss her. No sooner had the thought flitted through her brain, when suddenly he _was_ kissing her. Her hands came up and she slipped her fingers into his hair. Amanda tried to tell herself that the raw need that she felt for Zach was a result of the emotionally charged conversation they just had. It was a waste of brain function, especially when he was running his fingers down her neck in a way that made her skin ache.

He pulled away, breathing heavily. No, no, what was that look? That was the "I need to get myself under control" look. "Amanda, I apologize for kissing you. You're vulnerable right now, I shouldn't take advantage of that." She laughed. "You think I wouldn't have let you kiss me if I was in a better frame of mind?" Zach's lips quirked. "That's not quite what I meant. I just don't want whatever happens between us to be because we're on an emotional roller coaster. We're also working together, so it makes things even more complicated."

She gave him an exasperated look. "You think too much. You want to know something else about me? I don't know exactly how old I am. I figure I'm in my mid to late 30s. That means that almost 30 years of my life was wiped out. Meaningless. Who knows…maybe I'll get amnesia again and whatever I do with you here tonight will be meaningless. What I'm trying to say is that I live by the moment. I don't analyze why I do something. I don't try to figure out what the ramifications will be. I do what makes me happy. It would make me very happy to spend the night with you, Zach." Zach shook his head, unable to stop the grin that was threatening to split his face. "I don't think I've ever met a woman like you, before." He pulled her to him for another kiss, reaching around her to unzip her dress.


	3. may212001

Author's note: From now on, most of the events that take place parallel the events on All My Children, using the exact or approximate dates, when known. I'm just putting my own spin on them. The song at the end of this chapter is called Sweet Dreams, and can be found on the Air Supply Greatest Hits CD.

May 21, 2001

Zach leaned against a pillar and gazed at Amanda, who was making her way through the crowd towards him. She had asked him what color dress he would like her to wear for the grand opening ball, and he had shrugged and said, "Whatever you want. Just don't wear red. That's a bad color in conjunction with money." She had worn red. It looked fantastic on her. As she got closer, he realized why she chose red. She was wearing the ruby earrings he gave her three weeks ago for her birthday – rather, the date she had chosen to be her birthday. The earrings looked stunning with the dress.

When she reached him, she smiled wickedly. "Do you like my dress?" She twirled around in it. "I love it. It looks like it will be very easy to take off, later." She laughed. "You're trying to be flip, but I see right through you. I'm the only one here who knows that you are nothing but a sentimental ball of mush." He rolled his eyes. "You're not going to start that again, are you? No one here thinks I'm sentimental, simply because I'm not." Her eyes sparkled. "They would think so if they knew that you scheduled the ball on the same day that we met, one year ago."

Zach straightened up from the pillar and led Amanda towards one of the buffet tables. "You are the one, my dear, who noticed that the dates were the same, so you are the one who is sentimental." She laughed. "I can't help but notice that you have yet to directly deny my assertion." He took a stuffed mushroom from a platter. "Here, have a canape." He shoved it in her mouth, and she tried to contain her laughter long enough to chew it. Silvia Moretti appeared at their side. "Zachary, do not monopolize your lovely security expert. She needs to mingle." Zach raised one eyebrow. "I've had her for two minutes." Silvia raised her chin. "That is long enough when you are the host. You are supposed to be mingling, too." Silvia swept Amanda away.

Zach shook his head. It was probably for the best. He was so nervous right now that Amanda would pick up on it and demand to know what was wrong. He wanted to be able to spring it on her, not have her pry it out of him. He felt like the box was burning a hole in his pocket. It was still hard to believe he was going to do it. Zach had concluded long ago that marriage was not in the cards for him. He just could not see himself being in such an intimate relationship and still be able to keep his secret. With Amanda, it was moot. They knew each other's deepest secrets. They held nothing back. Zach still felt giddy with relief, six months later. It was so liberating not to have to watch every word. Indeed, they didn't even have to say words at this point. They would look at each other and know what the other was thinking. She had known the significance of the date of the ball, and she had been right that it was deliberate.

Zach took a deep breath. He wanted to propose to her before the ball was over. If she said yes (if!), he wanted to be able to announce it to the guests. He felt lightheaded. He was taking a big chance. He had never told her that he loved her, and she hadn't said it to him. Yet he knew that was what they felt for each other. It was implicit in every look and touch and word. They hadn't exchanged those words yet because they were both so reticent. When you spend so many years on your guard, trusting no one…nothing comes easy. Which was why he felt like his stomach was taking a nose dive down to the floor. Disgusted with his inability to get ahold of himself, Zach decided that he should get it done now so that they could enjoy the rest of the evening. He saw her talking with someone and made his way over to her. He was just about to touch her shoulder, when she turned to him. "I could feel your eyes on my back." He smiled. "It's such a lovely back. I apologize for interrupting, but may I have a moment alone with you?" She said goodbye to the woman she had been talking to, and allowed Zach to lead her towards the veranda.

They had almost made it when Silvia accosted them, once again. Zach had a great deal of affection for Silvia, but he was close to strangling her to death. "Zachary, Amanda! I am so glad I caught you together. You know that I have a son, Lucio, who is in medical school in Paris?" Zach nodded impatiently. Silvia clapped her hands together. "Well! My darling boy was able to come tonight. And he brought a lovely young lady with him, one of his classmates. I want you to meet them." She held out her hand, beaming at someone behind Zach. He and Amanda turned around.

Zach saw a young couple approaching. The man was the spitting image of Pietro. The young woman was very pretty. She had dark hair and mischevious dark eyes. Her features were very pert and girlish, yet she had an air of maturity and grace about her. Something about her struck a chord in him. She smiled warmly at Silvia, who indicated Zach. "This is Zachary Slater, the owner of this fabulous new casino. And this is Amanda Dover, the clever woman who designed the security system. Zachary, Amanda, I want you two to meet my son Lucio, and his lovely friend, Robin Scorpio."

Zach heard a sharp intake of breath beside him. He glanced at Amanda and saw that her eyes were wide as saucers. About to ask her what was wrong, he heard the young woman cry out, "Oh my god, Mom?" He turned his head back to see Robin's hands fly up to her mouth. She shook her head. "No…no…I'm so sorry. I know you're not Mom. I'm sorry, Aunt Alex." Her face crumpled in anguish. "I'm sorry I thought you were Mom. I'm just not used to seeing her twin, yet. And I didn't expect to see you here, so it took me off guard. Wait a minute, did Silvia call you Amanda?" Meanwhile, Amanda hadn't said a word, but the look on her face was one of agony. Zach knew instinctively that this was literally the moment of truth. Amanda's breathing grew more and more laboured, and her face was completely pale. Silvia was aghast. "My dear, is something wrong?" Amanda couldn't take her eyes off Robin. "R….R…Robin?" The name was wrenched from her lips. She reached out her hand to touch Robin, but then her eyes slid back in her head. Zach caught her as she slid to the floor, completely unconscious. Several bystanders gasped.

Carrying her, Zach made his way towards the foyer to the bank of elevators. They needed privacy. Robin, Lucio and Silvia followed him. "I don't understand. Why did she faint? Silvia, why did you call her Amanda Dover? And where's Dimitri?" Zach looked at Silvia and Lucio. "I'm afraid the two of you will have to stay here. This is a private family matter." Lucio looked like he wanted to argue, but Silvia led him away. When they were inside the elevator, Zach pushed the button for the floor containing his office. "When was the last time you saw your Aunt Alex?" Robin looked at him strangely. "A month ago, for the first time. She approached me and told me that she was my mother's twin. Don't tell me she's back to being a spy and I blew her cover."

The elevator door opened, and Zach led the way to his office. He lowered Amanda's feet, and fished his key out of his pocket. The ring box fell out. Robin picked it up. After unlocking the door, he lifted Amanda up again, and brought her over to the loveseat in the corner. It was a similar arrangement to his office in Las Vegas. He turned to Robin. "If you met her a month ago, then this isn't your Aunt Alex. May I ask why you thought it was your mother, and then changed your mind?" She looked at him, her eyes troubled. "I realized it couldn't be my mother, because she's dead. So by process of elimination, I thought it was her sister." Zach looked at Amanda. She still hadn't woken up. "When did your mother die, Robin?" She looked down at the ring box in her hand. "Nine years ago. She was on a yacht with my father. It...it exploded. My parents had a number of enemies, and one of them finally got his revenge." Zach felt goosebumps rise on the back of his neck. "Did the police ever find your parents'….remains?" Robin closed her eyes, a tear spilling down her cheek. "My father's body was found. Nothing of my mother, but…they said that she couldn't have survived…given the state that my father was in."

She looked up at Zach. "Is this woman, Amanda, another sister of my mother's? Were they triplets?" Zach shook his head. "I have no idea how many sisters there are. But there is something you need to know about Amanda. Nine years ago she was found in Canada, washed up on shore. She was badly hurt. The man who found her nursed her back to health. To this day she has no memory of who she was before then." The ring box dropped from Robin's suddenly nerveless fingers. It rolled to a stop at Zach's feet. "The Canadian border is right near where the yacht exploded." She stared at Amanda, who was still out cold. "Robin, if this is your mother, then she may have quite possibly just recovered her memory. She hasn't woken up yet and I'm very worried about her." Robin nodded slowly, her expression dazed. "It would probably be a good idea to take her to the hospital and run some tests." Zach jumped up and went to the telephone. He punched in a few numbers. "I need an ambulance right away. One of my guests has passed out. Let me know when it is here."

He looked over at the sofa, where Robin was smoothing back Amanda's hair. This was why she had struck a chord with him earlier. He had been looking at the daughter of the woman he loves. In a gravelly voice, he asked, "What is your mother's name?" Robin looked up at him. "Anna. Anna Devane." He almost chuckled. It fit. Anna Devane and Amanda Dover were similar, phonetically. Her subconscious obviously knew what it was doing. "Do you have anything of your mother's that would provide DNA or fingerprints for making a comparison?" She shook her head. "The mementos I have are probably too smudged. But Mac probably has her fingerprints on file. Mac Scorpio is my uncle, and the police commissioner where we used to live." She dug into her purse and produced a cell phone. While she made the call, Zach went to the door to look out for the ambulance workers.

Twenty-four hours later, Anna was showing signs of coming out of her mild coma. Sitting in the waiting room was Mac and Felicia Scorpio and Alexandra and Dimitri Merrick. Several times, Zach had been unnerved by Alexandra. The resemblance was uncanny. Most twins looked at least somewhat different in adulthood, but in this case she was a mirror image. Robin came out of Anna's room and Felicia hurried inside. Zach went over to Robin, who looked at him with haunted eyes. "She's starting to regain consciousness, but she's fighting it. I think she's dreaming about dad, and it's really getting to her." From inside the room, Zach could hear moaning. "Robert….oh god, Robert…" Robin looked heartbroken. "She's remembering his death, and she can't deal with it. This is going to be so horrible for her." Robin had shown Zach pictures of her parents. His heart had lurched seeing her so happy and carefree in the arms of her husband.

They sat down in the waiting area. "Robin, there is something you need to know. It will be painful enough for her to fully regain her memory and deal with the yacht explosion and your father's death. But she will have to work through some other emotions as well. She's going to feel very guilty about being away from you for nine years." Robin shook her head. "But she had amnesia. It wasn't like she could do anything about it." Zach held up his hand. "Yes, she could have. She knew there was the possibility that she could find out her identity. It would have been very easy, considering that her fingerprints are in AFIS. She chose not to find out because she was afraid of what she would find. Your mother had dreams, very disturbing dreams about carrying guns and killing people. She had no idea what they meant. She was afraid that she could be wanted for murder, or that there would be someone out there wanting her dead. She couldn't take the risk that once she found her family again, she would be taken away from them for good. She was haunted by this decision, Robin. When she wakes up, she's going to realize the truth, that she could have come back to you without fear. Its going to eat her up inside."

Robin put her head in her hands. "Hasn't she been through enough?" Mac came over and put his arm around Robin. "I think what Zach is trying to say is that we need to be strong for your mother. This will be a terrible ordeal for her, and she needs us all to be there for her and reassure her." Alexandra cleared her throat. "I was talking to that amnesia specialist earlier. I wanted to know if my presence would confuse Anna. He confirmed that it would, since she had no idea I existed before her amnesia." Zach nodded thoughtfully. "That's why nothing triggered her memory when that man mistook her for you last year." She smiled wanly. "Correct. Doctor Smalls recommended that I keep my distance until Anna is emotionally stable enough to handle it. Mr. Slater, he thinks you should stay way, also."

Zach felt like he had been punched in the gut. Robin was the one who spoke up. "What? How can that be? Zach's been her confidante for six months. He represents the life she's been living since the explosion. Him being here will help her not to feel like she's been in some sort of time warp." Alex shook her head. "He told me that she needs to be in the time warp. At least temporarily, she needs to feel like no time has passed for the very reasons that Mr. Slater was just stating. It will be too much for her to handle both the trauma of the explosion and the passing of nine years all at once." Felicia walked up, having heard Alex's words. "So we're supposed to lie to her? Let her think its 1992?" Alex shook her head. "The doctor could explain it better. She'll know the truth, but she just won't want to have to deal with it right away. Her brain is going to need to process the information one piece at a time. If Mr. Slater is here, she'll have to confront it before she's ready."

Zach stood up, unable to hear any more. He walked out into the hallway, needing to think about things. He'd almost made it to the elevator, when he heard Robin's voice. "Zach, wait." Reluctantly, he turned around. "Zach, I don't think that doctor is right. The most important thing I've learned in medical school is that no patient is alike. If my mom feels the same way about you that you feel for her, then she's going to need you." Zach's expression gave nothing away. "What is it that you think I feel for her?" Robin gave him an exasperated look. "If I hadn't been holding the ring box in my hand, I still would have known that you are madly in love with her. The looks you give her say it all. And I know that she must trust you implicitly if she let you in on her secret. My mother spills to no one unless she can trust you with her life." Zach shifted from one foot to another. "Robin, Doctor Smalls is an expert on amnesia. While it is true that no patient is alike, there are always similarities or else no one could ever be successfully treated. He knows what he is talking about."

Robin protested, "But Zach…" He put his hands on her shoulders. "Robin, I want your mother to get well. I want her recovery to be as free of complications as possible. She is going to go through a lot of emotional anguish. I really, really do not want to add to it." His voice broke, and he tried to get himself under control. He took a deep breath. "The people she needs to see when she wakes up are you, her brother-in-law, and her best friend. When she is able to handle it, she can meet her sister. After that…I'll be around. I'll be in Las Vegas, I'll be in Monte Carlo. She'll be able to find me if she wants to find me. Or if she would prefer that the last nine years didn't exist…" He broke off, unable to finish the thought. Robin brought her hands up to his face. "Of course she's going to want to see you again. I know she will."

Zach removed his hands from her shoulders and stepped back. "I'll write a letter to her. When she's ready to read it, she'll know my feelings then. Shall I mail it to you?" Robin nodded, wiping tears from her eyes. She went over to the nearby nurse's station and found a piece of paper and a pencil. She wrote down her address in Paris. When she handed it to him, it was slightly wet from her tears. She gave him a hug. He held her tight, feeling an incredible bond with this amazing young woman who so closely resembled his love in so many ways.

Not quite sure how he got there, Zach found himself standing in Anna's apartment. He would need to make sure the key got to Robin so that she could take care of Anna's things. He walked around, soaking in the presence of Amanda, the woman he had known and loved. She wasn't dead, but she might as well be. He sat down at her desk. He could smell her scent in the soft leather chair. Taking a deep breath, he pulled out a piece of stationary and a pen. He looked at the blank page for a long time. After awhile, the silence became unbearable, so he picked up the remote for her stereo and turned it on, hitting random play. When he heard the low wail of a synthesizer, he chuckled. He should have known she would have Air Supply in there. He always teased her about her love for easy listening. And she called him the sentimental one. He sat back and listened to the words of the song.

This is the time when you need a friend  
You just need someone near  
I'm not looking forward to the night I'll spend  
Thinking of you when you're not here  
How many times will I think about the things  
I'd like to do  
Always denied the right to live my life the way I want  
I want to share it with you

CHORUS  
Close your eyes I want to ride the skies  
In my sweet dreams  
Close your eyes I want to see you tonight  
In my sweet dreams

I'll think of your kiss as the days roll by  
And I'll write the words you love  
And what I can't say in a letter  
Will just have to wait till I get home

There's not much time to tell you half the things I should  
Only that I'm so glad I fell in love with you  
And I'd do it again if I could

CHORUS

Sleep like a child resting deep  
You don't know what you give me I keep  
For these moments alone

CHORUS

When the song came to an end, Zach realized that he had crumpled the stationary into a tight little ball. Releasing it, he stood up and went over to the couch. Falling onto it, he quietly succumbed to his grief. "Amanda…." His voice croaked as he took a shuddering breath. "Amanda…"_  
_


	4. feb102003

February 10, 2003

Anna stopped in at the Pine Valley Inn for a drink with Jackson Montgomery. They hashed out some strategy for a court case the next day. When they were satisfied, Jackson made the long trek over to the dining room to have a working dinner with yet another colleague. Anna shook her head. If only he would get over his crush on Erica, he might find a nice woman and actually go out on a date. She wrote some notes for the trial and finished her drink. Impatient to leave, she decided to settle up at the bar rather than wait for her server to get back. She walked towards the bar, rummaging in her knapsack. She bumped into someone. "I apologize, I wasn't watching where I was going." She looked up. The man staring back at her smiled, oozing charm. "That's perfectly alright. Someone as gorgeous as you can bump into me any time." She raised one eyebrow. On the one hand, he seemed pretty sophisticated. On the other hand, the line he gave her was so cheesy. Maybe he was drunk. She smiled politely and beckoned Greg, the bartender, over. She told him what she had, and gave him some bills.

When she turned to leave, she encountered the smooth talker again. "I want to say I'm sorry for the hideous come-on line. I'm new in town and feeling a bit nervous about meeting people." She looked at him skeptically. "Now you're going to go for the 'aw shucks' routine?" The man grinned. "How about I just start over and introduce myself? Michael Cambias." He held out his hand. "Anna Devane." Anna shook his hand, concentrating hard not to let the shock show on her face. Zach's brother! Her mind raced a mile a minute. Wasn't he supposed to be the heir apparent to Alex Senior's billions? What was he doing in a backwater town like Pine Valley? True, there were a couple of corporate headquarters here, but they weren't big companies. Anna had the sinking feeling that some pots were going to get stirred. "It was nice to meet you, Michael, but I have to go. I'm meeting someone else. Welcome to Pine Valley." Before he could say another word, she beat a hasty retreat.

Once she was out in the frigid air, she felt able to breathe again. She finally met Zach's brother. Unfortunately, Michael left the same bad taste in her mouth that Alex had that one time she met him in Las Vegas. Strange. Zach always said that his little brother was nothing like his father. Well, she shouldn't rush to judge. But she couldn't help but hope that he wasn't going to stay in town long. Seeing him around would be just another reminder of Zach that she didn't need.

Anna walked along the sidewalk towards the police station. Maybe if she went back to work, she could take her mind off things. She passed in front of Lacy's and saw the Valentines display. Mannequins dressed in slinky dresses and wicked lingerie. She stared at the red, her mind floating over memories. Wearing a red dress for Robert on Valentines Day, and then tying him up for having the audacity to imply she was a boring frump. Wearing a red dress for the Seasons opening ball because it matched the gorgeous ruby earrings that Zach gave her. The last time she saw Zach, she was wearing that dress.

Anna was startled by a voice behind her. "Lacy's has plenty of ideas for women to entice their men on Valentine's day. But where are the suggestions for what the men can do?" Anna whipped around. Chris Stamp was standing there, smirking. "Anna, I should horse whip you for standing around an empty, dark street daydreaming." She narrowed her eyes. "If it had been any common thief, rapist or murderer, I would have heard them. How am I supposed to compete with an FBI agent?" Chris rolled his eyes. "Come on. A former WSB agent? Admit it, you're losing your touch." Anna turned back to the display. "Maybe I am. My wiles just aren't what they used to be."

Anna felt his hands rest on her shoulders and his voice in her ear. "I think you need some of BJ's phenomenal chili fries and a beer. Waddya say?" Anna chuckled. "Oh, what the hell." They walked over to the bistro, which was packed with college students. After placing their order, Chris eyed Anna intently. "I need some ideas for Valentine's Day. Help me out, here, Anna. This is Erica Kane we're talking about." Anna laughed. He reminded her so much of Sean Donelly. Sean was buried somewhere deep within the WSB. She wondered if she would ever see him again. "How would I know what would impress Erica?" Chris shrugged. "Tell me about your memorable Valentine's days. What did you do last year?"

Bottles of beer were placed in front of them, and Anna took a long swig of hers. "Sat in my apartment eating bon bons I bought myself. Watched 'To Catch a Thief.' Cried myself to sleep. Thank you very much for reminding me." Anna couldn't believe she actually revealed that to him. Chris raised one eyebrow. "Isn't that movie set in Monte Carlo? And weren't you in Monte Carlo the year before you regained your memory?" Anna's eyes widened. "No wonder they hired you at the Bureau." Chris leered at her. He had a way of making his leers so blatantly sexual that you had to burst out laughing or forget that he belonged to Erica. He took a swig of his beer. "So Valentines 2002 was a bust. What about Valentines 2001? When you were still in Monte Carlo." He said the last two words in a ridiculous French accent. She wanted to laugh at his silliness, but the question hit her too hard.

Anna stared into her beer. Well, she told him about last year's pathetic display. Might as well spill everything. "As of that February, I'd been in Monaco about eight months and hadn't gone anywhere. So the man I was dating planned a surprise trip. He snuck into my apartment and packed a suitcase of everything I would need. Then he whisked me off to Switzerland. We spent a week at a ski chalet. It was the most amazing experience. Switzerland was just breathtaking." Anna's voice petered off and she stared into her beer. "So how did you get from Switzerland to crying over bon bons?" She shrugged. "As I said, I guess my wiles just aren't what they used to be."

Chris leaned forward. "Baby, if Erica didn't have me in a stranglehold with her little pinky, I'd be all over you like a moth on a streetlight." Anna grinned. "I never thought I would ever be jealous of Erica." He waggled his eyebrows. "So what's the shmuck's name?" She bit her lip. "Zach Slater is not a shmuck. He may not have had the good taste to fall in love with me, but he is a good man." Chris whistled. "Zach Slater? The owner of the Seasons casinos? The man you worked for in Monte Carlo? The one who has since opened two more casinos in Rio de Janeiro and Tokyo?"

Anna wrinkled her nose. "I read about those. He's apparently been quite busy since I last saw him." Chris snorted. "Too busy to come and sweep you off your feet, you mean? I don't buy it." Anna fidgeted with her napkin. "You don't understand. We knew each other only a year. We were only dating for six months of that. It might have turned into something more, but circumstances got in the way. When I recovered my memory, the trauma put me in a temporary coma. According to Robin, my sister convinced Zach that it would be better if he wasn't around when I woke up. He agreed and told Robin that he would send a letter that I could read when I felt emotionally ready. I've been emotionally ready for over a year now, but…." She couldn't finish. Chris stared at her a moment. "What are you saying, Anna? There was no letter? The shmuck didn't send it?"

Anna blotted her eyes with the napkin. "I told you, he's not a shmuck. Just because he decided not to pursue the relationship doesn't make him a shmuck. As I said, we were only dating for six months. It was an intense six months, but…we weren't committed to each other. He never made any declarations of love." She paused, lost in thought as the chili fries came and Chris ordered more beer. "I've analyzed it to death in my head, Chris. There are any number of reasons why he backed off permanently. There were some pretty huge revelations about my past. The fact that I was not only a spy, but a double agent. I've had two husbands, both of whom were murdered by enemies. The second husband I didn't even get a chance to mourn because I lost my memory at the same time he died. There is a lot about me that would be difficult for anyone to swallow, no matter how solid the relationship was. Maybe he decided it was too much emotional baggage. Like I said, we hadn't even exchanged 'I love you's'"

Chris narrowed his eyes. "You're saying you hadn't told him you loved him, either?" She shook her head. "But you did love him? I know you did, or else you wouldn't still be pining away for him almost two years later." Anna set her beer down with thunk. "I'm not pining away. I'm just….wistful about what could have been." Chris laughed. "Wistful, eh? So tell me something, why the radio silence? Didn't you ever want to contact him and at least say goodbye? You know, so long and thanks for all the fish?" Anna smiled in spite of herself. "I didn't know you were a Hitchhiker fan. I did want to call Zach, but time just slipped away. When I got out of the hospital, I moved to Port Charles to examine all the pieces of my life that were shattered and to grieve over Robert. Robin took a leave of absence to stay with me. After a few months, I couldn't handle being there anymore. There were too many memories, the grief just overwhelmed me. So I pushed Robin out the door back to school, and I moved to Pine Valley to get to know Alexandra."

Chris finished swallowing some fries. "And I immediately sucked you into the Proteus investigation." Anna scooped some chili with a fry. "That was pretty intense. Then you suggested I become chief of police." Chris grinned wickedly. "So I could have the local yokels in my back pocket." She shoved her fry in his mouth. "No sooner did I take the position when Erica's house went up in flames." Chris chewed thoughtfully. "Once that was resolved, didn't you spend a lot of time going back and forth between here and Port Charles? Oh yeah, the mob war." Anna nodded grimly. "My brother-in-law, Mac, asked me to help him deal with the war between Sonny Corinthos and Luis Alcazar. That was nasty. Alcazar ended up taking a header over his hotel balcony, and we've been trying to put that case to rest as well. We thought we had the culprits, but the trial was just overturned. Now Mac is back at square one. Can I just say that I'm glad Pine Valley has been free of murder and mayhem for almost a year now? Let's just hope it stays that way."

Chris stared at her thoughtfully. "I just realized something. All this time I thought you were just your average run of the mill workaholic. All law enforcement suffers from it. But you…you've been deliberately burying yourself in work." Anna paused in the act of raising her beer bottle to her lips. "You're imagining things." Chris folded his arms. "How about this…why haven't you been out on a single date in two years? Admit it. And don't give me the wiles excuse again. You've had plenty of guys sniffing around you. Especially David Hayward." Anna rolled her eyes. "You bring up David Hayward as my biggest fan and can still ask why I haven't been on a date?" Chris jabbed a fry in her direction. "Its because you're still hung up on Slater. I always wondered, and now I know."

Anna leaned back in her chair. "Why are we having this discussion? I told you, he never wrote the damn letter, I felt too vulnerable to call him, and then time just slipped away. Getting in touch with him after two years would be an embarrassing waste of time. Its over. Its done with. He's…he's out of my life…for good." The last phrase was choked out as her throat constricted. Chris shook his head. "There's no fool like a stubborn fool. Come on, I'll take you home."


	5. aug152003

Author's note: The song at the end of the chapter is Against All Odds, by Phil Collins.

August 15, 2003

Zach walked into the outer room of his office, and saw Beverly sitting at her desk, shoulders slumped, blotting her eyes. She was staring at a newspaper. "Beverly, is something the matter?" She straightened up, startled. "Oh, Mr. Slater. I do apologize for my unprofessional appearance. I didn't expect you in so early." Zach shook his head. "Beverly, I'm not concerned with appearances. I want to know if you are okay." She waved her hand. "Its nothing to do with me. I just saw something so sad about one of my favorite celebrities. I've read Erica Kane's autobiography dozens of times. Oh, what a woman. Anyway, it says here that some horrible man has been arrested for raping her daughter. It was just a month ago that her wedding came to a screeching halt because some lunatic claimed to be the groom's long lost daughter. And now this terrible thing happens." Beverly shook her head. Not one to comment on the salacious interests of the people around him, Zach smiled politely and continued heading towards his office. He was at the door, when Beverly made one final comment. "I hope this spoiled rich boy, Michael Cambias, rots in hell for what he did to that poor girl."

Zach made it to his desk without a stutter and picked up a newspaper with shaking hands. There was an article about how the heir to the Cambias millions was arrested yesterday on rape charges. It was in some town he had never heard of in Pennsylvania. Not content with the sparse newspaper coverage, he went online and did a search. The Pine Valley Bulletin had the most detailed information. What he read there could not have poleaxed him more if he had been slammed in the back of the head with a two by four. The person making the arrest was the chief of police – Anna Devane. He stared at the name for a long time, not sure if he was seeing things. Anna was working as law enforcement in some hick town in Pennsylvania? There went his favorite theory – that she went back to work for the WSB and was deep undercover in some Eastern block country. It was the only theory he had thought of in the past year that eased the pain of her not responding to his letter.

Zach walked to his window. He never wanted to contemplate the other possibility. That she did not return his feelings and couldn't be bothered to even say one last goodbye. So many times he wanted to google her name and find out where she was, what she was doing. But he knew that as soon as he had that information, he would be too tempted to call her. He wanted to stand by his decision to back off, and his promise in the letter that he would let her make the next move. Now he was seeing her name again, juxtaposed against that of his brother. She arrested him for rape. Zach bent over and rested his hands against his knees. He took deep breaths as he waited for the nausea to pass.

How the hell could this be happening? Why couldn't she have warned Zach that she was going to do this? She knew his telephone number by heart. She had called it enough times during that year. She had to have known that he would read about it and be devastated. Did she hate him? Did regaining her memory cause her to resent him in some way? Was that why she never responded to his letter? Zach sat down again. Was arresting Michael perhaps some sort of revenge? No, no, Anna was the most level-headed woman he knew. But surely she couldn't think that Michael would do such a horrible thing? Zach had told her so much about him. How could she possibly believe the daughter of some flaky diva over his brother? Zach kneaded his forehead. That wasn't fair. He knew very little about Erica Kane, and zero about her daughter. This could all be some misunderstanding – the girl was perhaps dazzled by Michael's good looks and millions of dollars. Of course, she had money, but not nearly as much as Cambias. Zach tried to think of some more scenarios. Anna is very intelligent and diligent – she would have done a thorough investigation before making an arrest. She also would have been above bribes. Zach leaned his head back. None of it made sense. It all seemed to point to either his brother or the woman he loved – once loved - undergoing a complete character change. On the one hand, he hadn't seen his brother in many, many years. On the other hand, there was no telling how Amanda would have changed when she went back to being Anna.

He would either have to go see his brother or go see Anna. When Michael helped him become Zach Slater, he had made Zach swear that he would never get in contact with him ever again. Michael said it would be too risky – the old man would find out. Besides, Michael was in a jail cell right now. Zach would have to visit him at the prison, and that would raise all kinds of alarm bells. It would have to be Anna. And it would have to be soon, because the preliminary hearing was set for the 22nd. Once again his hands were shaking as he did some more research online while he formulated his plan. Then he made the necessary phone calls to set the plan in motion.

Zach leaned his head back again, breathing deeply, in and out. He wouldn't need to pack, because he always had a bag at the ready. He traveled a lot these days. In just ten days he was headed to the Gold Coast in Australia to break ground on his fifth casino. He would be spending a lot of time there after that to oversee the construction phase. Unless the situation with Michael dragged out.

Zach was startled when the telephone rang. He picked up and Beverly told him that John Sebastian, a fellow boardmember at the hospital, was on the line. "Hello, John, what can I do for you?" He heard Sebastian clear his throat. "This is more a courtesy call than anything else. I don't foresee any problems. I just got word that we have a very prominent person who is being treated in the ICU for a heart attack. You've probably heard of Alexander Cambias? He was checked in a couple of days ago. He seemed to be doing fine, but he might have heard by now about what happened to his son back East. Michael Cambias was arrested for raping the daughter of a celebrity. All very lurid. Anyway, I'm going down there to make sure that he doesn't take a turn for the worse. If a man that rich dies in our hospital, it could look very bad." Zach closed his eyes. And the hits just keep on coming. "Thanks for giving me a heads up. Keep me posted."

What did he care if the old man kicked the bucket? What did he care? Why did he have to choose Las Vegas to die? Did he somehow know, psychically, that his not-so-dead son was here and wanted to torment me one last time? Zach stood up and went to the closet next to the tiny bathroom. He retrieved his overnight bag, then went downstairs to take a limo to the airport. If anyone asked, he was heading for New York City. But he planned to make a detour in the backwater town of Port Charles.

Anna sat at her desk, her head in her hands. David Hayward had just called with bad news. His examination of Bianca had turned up nothing that could be used in court. Having spent the night in jail, Michael was out on bail. Bile rose in her throat. She didn't know whether she should be more afraid of what Michael might do to Bianca, or what the whole town would be wanting to do to Michael.

She heard a swishing noise and looked up. Seeing nothing, she stood up and went to the door. She looked down and saw an envelope. It had been pushed under the door. She opened the door, and saw that whoever it was had already split. She shook her head and opened the envelope. The contents made the hair on her neck stand on end. It looked like a faxed copy of a handwritten message. "A. Meet me at the Port Charles Hotel. Seven PM tonight. Z." Whatever rush of joy she felt was fleeting. It was obvious that he wanted to see her for one reason, and one reason only. His precious baby brother. Anna gritted her teeth. Damn him. She crumpled the paper in a little ball. Like hell she would drop everything, especially the most sensitive case of her career, to go and have drinks in her old stomping grounds so that the man she loved – once loved – could ream her out for arresting Michael.

Anna threw the crumpled paper in the trash. Damn it to hell. She picked up the phone. While she was checking on flight schedules, Jackson Montgomery walked in the door. When she hung up, he gave her an incredulous look. "Where are you heading off to, now of all times?" She pressed her lips together for a moment, then shook her head. "I need to go to Port Charles for the night. Personal business. I'll be back tomorrow. I know you can handle things from this end, Jack." When he opened his mouth, she held up her hand. "I wouldn't be going if this weren't really important. Just make sure that no one lets Michael out of their sight. I need to go throw some things in a bag." She walked out of the office before Jackson could even formulate a word.

Anna sat at the bar, drinking a martini. Robert used to tease her about martinis, saying that she wanted to be just like James Bond. She would always retort that she preferred being Jane Bond. She was glad that she hadn't run into anyone she knew. She didn't feel like explaining her presence there. Why in the world would Zach choose this place? Maybe it wasn't as conspicuous as Pine Valley, but she was certainly known here.

She took a deep breath, and caught a faint scent. Obsession for Men. She'd given some to Zach as a gift, one time. He couldn't really still be wearing it? She turned around slowly. Zach was standing close behind her, already in her personal space. How had she not sensed him coming up behind her? She really was losing her touch. It had been over two years since she last saw him. He still had the power to turn her brain and her body into jelly. She was already wishing she had worn something more alluring than the severe black dress she had on. Her hair was in a sloppy bun with black lacquered chopsticks sticking through it. She probably looked ridiculous.

Zach thought he had never seen any woman look as beautiful as she did in that moment. She was just like when he first met her – attempting to hide her exotic beauty and passion behind a dark and severe façade. Considering how sad and remote she had been during that first meeting, he was surprised to see that she was even more so now. He could see in her eyes that she felt oppressed by the world. How could regaining her memory make her sorrows even worse? She had her share of troubled memories, but Robin had made him think that she'd been happy, too. Had remembering the loss of her husband, Robert, been that hard to take? Maybe so. He fought the overwhelming desire to take her in his arms and put a smile on her face the way he once had.

"Thank you for meeting me." She lifted her chin. "Well, it would be bad form to leave someone high and dry." He narrowed his eyes. "Yes, it certainly would." He looked up to see the bartender hovering. "Scotch, neat." He looked back at Anna. "So this is Port Charles. The place you called home before your accident. Why didn't you come back here?" She leaned back on the bar. "I did for a few months. I couldn't handle the memories, or the way the place had changed. I decided to go to Pine Valley and get to know my sister and nephew." He raised one eyebrow. "Alexandra has a son?" She shook her head. "No, the son of an older sister. Aidan. He relocated to the Valley, also." He nodded, thoughtfully. "So it was out with the old memories, in with the new." She turned and leaned her arms against the bar, taking a sip of her martini. "Unlike when I knew you, I'm now forced to live with every one of my memories - good and bad."

Zach leaned against the bar, accepting his Scotch from the bartender. "I was always curious about something. You told me about many of your dreams and how you wondered which ones were memories and which ones were just your imagination. I remember there was one series of dreams that we used to laugh about. The one with the alien ascending to his aircraft." Anna choked on her martini. Zach continued, "You insisted that it seemed too real to be a dream. Now that you have your memory back, what is the verdict?" Anna cleared her throat and attempted a shaky smile. "I remember those conversations. You laughed and told me that you occasionally dreamed you were a vampire, but that didn't mean you were one. Interesting coincidence, because Mac told me about some rumors floating around Port Charles concerning recent vampire attacks. Should I be worried about you?" Zach swallowed his scotch, his mouth quirking. "Sounds like a job for the X-files."

He set his drink on the bar and turned to look at Anna. "You know why I asked you to meet me?" There it was again, the oppressed look. "Yes, I know. And I know what you're going to say, so let me get right to my rebuttal. Its been years and years since you last saw your brother. Years that he was under the influence of your father. You've told me all about your father. Michael's a chip off the old block. Only he mutated into something much worse. Did you read about the other arrests made by my department? Fraud, conspiracy, industrial espionage. Multiple times, Zach." Zach shrugged. "Yes, I also read that the charges never stuck." She shook her head. "Your father made an appearance in town after the first arrest to publicly humiliate him. I'm not sure why your brother targeted the Kane women, but after that, he pounced on them with a vengeance. He's tried to steal Enchantment, Fusion. He attempted to rape both Erica and Kendall before he succeeded with Bianca."

Zach pointed to the carpet. "I don't know what evidence there was about the fraud charges, but the assault charges are strictly their word against his, and it looks to me like they had motive to try and get him thrown in jail by any means possible." Anna closed her eyes. "Crying rape is not something the Kane women would do - ever. Erica was raped when she was fourteen years old. Fourteen, Zach. She was so traumatized by it that she completely blocked out the fact that she gave birth to Kendall." Zach waved his hand. "Maybe not Erica, but Kendall has done it. I've done my research, Anna. Kendall claimed that her mother's own husband raped her." Anna sighed. "She was really messed up back then, Zach. And it doesn't matter, because it was Bianca that Michael raped. She is a beautiful, innocent, bright, intelligent, and very sensitive young woman. She is the last person to accuse someone falsely like this."

Zach gripped the banister of the bar. "You are a good judge of character, usually, so lets take your word for it that Bianca didn't do this deliberately. How do you know that this wasn't simply consensual sex, and Bianca was confused afterwards?" Anna cocked her head. "Because Bianca is a lesbian. She has been firm about her sexuality for several years now. There's no question about her consenting to it." Zach pushed away from the banister, walked away for a moment, then walked back. Then he started pacing back and forth. "There's no way. No way that my brother is a monster. This has to be a mistake somehow. Has to be. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, Anna. I'm going to find out the truth. Something which you apparently aren't interested in."

Anna tried to stay calm, but was failing miserably. "Zach. Look at me. Look at me!" He stopped, his eyes boring into hers. "I knew your brother was trouble from the moment I met him. He gave me a chill up my spine, the way your father did. I didn't want to believe that he is who he is. Michael is your brother. You told me so much about him. Zach, I wanted so badly to believe the best about him. But over and over again he proved just how much of a snake he really is. He's a horrible man, Zach. Look, he's out on bail, so I would suggest that you go visit him and see for yourself. You'll see that he has become a predator. He has to be stopped, and as much as I don't want to be the one who has to do it…I will. I will make sure he is put away for a very long time. In a cage. Where he belongs."

Zach stared at her. Two years of deafening silence could not begin to compare to this. His head was spinning too fast to form coherent thought. So this was it. Two years of slowly eroding hope has ended in this dreadful standoff. He became aware of a piano playing. He glanced into the dining room and saw couples dancing. He looked back at Anna. He was surely turning completely insane for what he was about to do. "Well, now that we are completely clear on where we stand….let's have one final dance, shall we?" Anna looked startled, and then wary. She gave an imperceptible nod, so he guided her into the next room and onto the small dance floor. The soloist, a young man seated at a baby grand, was beginning another song.

How can i just let you walk away  
just let you leave without a trace  
when i stand here taking every breath with you  
you're the only one who really knew me at all

When Anna eased into his arms, he almost felt right with the world. Had he really been aching for the touch of her skin for two whole years?

_How can you just walk away from me  
when all i can do is watch you leave  
'cause we shared the laughter and the pain  
and even shared the tears_

When he had asked her to dance, she'd been afraid. How could she possibly dance with him? How would she be able to get that close to him again, and then watch him walk away? Because that's what he would do. She didn't want to contemplate it. Just like the first time they made love, all she wanted to think about was the present.

_you're the only one who really knew me at all  
so take a look at me now  
there's just an empty space  
there's nothing left here to remind me  
just the memory of your face_

Zach looked down at her, with her head resting on his shoulder. He drank in every feature. He was going to lose her again. Not that he ever had her.

_take a good look at me now  
there's just an empty space  
and you coming back to me   
is against the odds  
and that's what i got to take_

She had truly done it this time. By giving Zach her unvarnished opinion about his brother, she had slammed the door to any sort of reconciliation. Well, she thought. I have closure now. The kicker of this whole heartbreak was that they couldn't say goodbye in peace. They would leave each other feeling just as empty and bitter as before.

_I wish i could just make you turn around  
turn around and see me cry  
there's so much i need to say to you  
so many reasons why  
you're the only one  
who really knew me at all_

How was he going to be able to let her go? Like that damn singer said, she was the only one who really knew him, deeply. Completely. How could he possibly open himself up like this to another woman, ever? He always knew in his heart that he would go through life alone. But that wasn't bad enough, apparently. Fate had to show him six months of pure happiness, so that he could truly see how miserable and pathetic he was destined to be.

_But to wait for you is all i can do  
and that's what i've got to face  
Take a good look at me now  
'cause i'll still be standing there  
and you coming back to me  
is against all odds  
that's the chance i've got to take_

As the last notes of the piano were dying, Zach stepped away from Anna. He gazed at her for a long moment, then turned and walked out the door.


	6. may182004

May 18, 2004

Zach walked into the administrative offices for the Seasons Gold Coast casino and resort. The resort was not open yet – the grand opening ball would be held tonight. Immediately after, he planned to catch a flight back to Las Vegas. He had been away from his business – every aspect of it – for a very long time, and he wanted to get back into the swing of things as soon as possible.

Jack Brauer, general manager and financial stakeholder, came out of his office and caught sight of Zach. He doubled over laughing. People looked up from their work and stared at Zach like they had never seen him before. It was probably because he looked quite unlike what they were used to seeing. His hair was about an inch shy of shoulder length. He had a full beard. He was wearing a black t-shirt; faded, ripped blue jeans; and mud-caked boots. When Zach reached Jack, he smiled politely and waited for Jack to collect himself. Wiping a tear from his eye, Jack clapped Zach on the back, and led him into his office. "Welcome home, mate. I see the transformation is complete. Have we managed to convert you to the only religion that matters?" Zach raised one eyebrow. Jack spread out his hands. "The truly glorious land that is my country." Zach smiled and pulled Jack into a hug. "Thank you, my friend, for encouraging me to go on walkabout. I have indeed fallen in love with this place. But the U.S. is where I belong."

Jack slumped his shoulders in a mock gesture of defeat. "Say it isn't so! Zach, I was telling Laura just the other day that you have the soul of an outlaw, the character of a gentleman, and the heart of an Aboriginee. You belong here, my friend, not America. What has that country done for you? When you came here last August for the groundbreaking, you had the look of the walking dead. I don't know what it was that rocked you to your core, but you were definitely in need of one thing and one thing only." Zach smiled slightly. "To get back to the land." Jack nodded. "The last thing you needed was to become involved in a construction project. I knew that you would have gone insane, and I was right. This beautiful baby of yours is coming together finally, but it certainly has had its share of tantrums."

Zach grinned. "You just wanted me out of your hair." Jack laughed. "Well, it certainly has done wonders for your hair." Zach reflexively lifted his hand and ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't get attached to it. It's getting all chopped off for the ball. The beard too." Jack snapped his fingers in an "aw shucks" gesture. "I don't know about the beard, but I'm sure Theresa will be disappointed that she missed out on flowing locks. She's into the poetic look." Zach put his hand back down. "Theresa?" Jack's smile was mischievous. "I'm making one last ditch effort to keep you here, Zach. Theresa Sullivan will be your escort to the ball tonight." Zach leaned back in his chair and groaned. "You never were subtle, were you?" Jack nodded. "She's a friend of Laura's, and a real looker."

Zach stood up and walked to the window. He looked out on the resort, which had an ethereal quality in this, its most unique state of existence. A casino and hotel, once open, is always a busy hive of activity. This casino wasn't open yet, so it sat in stillness, finished and waiting. "Jack, because you helped me in one of my darkest moments, I'll humor you and escort Ms. Sullivan to the ball. But you better pray that she's not wearing red." He turned and walked out the door. Jack stared at the doorway. "Must be an American joke."

Zach was the first customer in the hotel barber shop. He got a shave and a haircut (it cost more than two bits), and then dressed for the ball. As he put on the finishing touches, he congratulated himself on his restraint. He hadn't turned on the computer even once since he'd been back. Not because he was anxious to check his e-mail, which was probably in mammoth proportions by now. He doubted that any of it needed his attention right away, and it was a little depressing. When Jack urged him to go on walkabout, he had promised Zach that he would contact him if there was anything that absolutely could not be handled by anyone else. In the eight months that he was gone, he had gotten a grand total of three calls from Jack. Some might say that is the hallmark of a well-engineered operation, and he should be proud of the people who worked for him. But it still depressed him, nevertheless. Like most people, he liked to be needed.

Zach checked his bow tie and glanced at his computer, mocking him from the small desk in the corner. E-mail wasn't the Siren that called to him. He wanted to find out if anything else had happened since the events that played out last August. He couldn't imagine that it would have gotten any worse. That month went down as one of the worst in his personal history. When he'd gotten back from Port Charles and his confrontation with Anna, he'd had to turn right around again and fly to Rio to deal with a crisis at the casino down there. He had tried to get ahold of Michael on the telephone, but never got through. By the time he got back, it was time for the preliminary hearing. It had been a three-ring circus, live on television. Zach had never been more disgusted by the court system or the media in his life. On several occasions he saw Anna when the camera panned the audience. She looked positively haggard.

Michael, on the other hand, looked…well, he looked a heck of a lot like Alexander Senior. Especially the expression on his face when it was revealed that he had pirated Enchantment and Chandler Industries. The girl, Bianca, had given compelling testimony. Watching it was the torture of the damned. Especially when she talked about Michael saying to her that everything he did was for his father's approval, and how he would never be perfect like his brother had been. Michael had bent over backwards assuring Zach that he would be okay living with his father, and that Zach didn't need to be concerned about him. Yet this girl was saying that Michael was actually resentful of his older brother. It was one of the things that made it difficult to decide whether to believe anything she said.

Hearing her tell her version of events was something that would haunt Zach forever. The fact that she was willing to reveal such terrible things to a nation full of television viewers was either testament to her determination of spirit, or proof that she was the most vengeful bitch on the face of the earth. He wanted so much to believe it was the latter, but he could not. Was she simply a very good actress? Zach was a good judge of character, but even he couldn't make that sort of judgement from watching someone on a television screen.

When Michael's defense attorney had cross-examined her, he used the same argument that Zach had put to Anna – that this was a revenge ploy because Michael was involved in a hostile takeover of Enchantment. The camera subsequently showed Erica Kane and her other daughter, Kendall, becoming hysterical over the line of questioning. Were they genuinely outraged, or was it a distraction technique? In the end it didn't matter, because the judge ruled that there wasn't enough evidence to go to trial.

All in all, he had remained unconvinced that his brother would be so vile as to rape a woman. Unfortunately, he was now convinced that Michael was the spitting image of his father. And all because Zach had taken a fourteen year old's word for it that he would be fine. Obviously he wasn't fine. If there was a soul left in him, it was being rotted away with each corporate takeover; each restructuring that chopped hundreds of jobs; each decision that led to destruction of the environment or a small town's economy, but meant an extra few bucks to the Cambias coffers.

Hoping that it wasn't too late, he had tried calling Michael again that night. This time he was going to offer Michael a position of power in his casino empire. Hell, he was willing to give him the whole thing if it meant getting Michael away from Cambias Industries and away from their father. All he got was voice mail, but he didn't leave any messages. The police could easily subpoena his phone records to get more evidence against him. The police. Anna. He still found it hard to deal with the fact that she was on the other side now. He found himself involuntarily wondering what she was doing, how she was taking her failure to bring Michael to justice.

After Zach gave up on trying to call Michael, he got a phone call from John Sebastian. The hospital boardmember had informed him that the prominent businessman that had checked in the prior week, Alexander Cambias, died from a heart attack after watching his son's hearing on television. John was worried that Michael Cambias would sue the hospital for allowing his father to watch something that would surely be stressful on his heart. Zach told John not to worry. Considering the fortune he just inherited from his not-so-beloved father, Michael would probably build a new wing for the hospital in gratitude. Not sure how Zach would have been able to form such an opinion, John was nevertheless relieved, and hung up.

So that was it. As August came to a close, Zach had witnessed his brother avoid a criminal trial, perform a hostile takeover of three personally-held companies, and inherit a mega-fortune that would make him one of the most powerful people on earth. Their father was dead. Alexander was now unable to personally further the corruption process, but his legacy would surely finish Michael off. Whatever Zach had thought to offer Michael at the beginning of the evening, was a drop in the bucket compared to what was now his for the taking. Unable to do anything else for his brother, Zach had met his scheduled flight to Australia for the groundbreaking ceremony on what would soon be his fifth casino. His hand of poker.

And now, here he was, nine months later, dying to find out if anything else had happened since he became incommunicado. Well, it would have to wait. He would make an appearance at the ball, dance with Theresa, and then fly home. On the long flight he would have plenty of time to do research on how his little brother was doing.

Zach took the elevator downstairs and contemplated his walkabout. Different people took different types of walkabouts. His had not been a spiritual journey. It was more like a spiritual retreat. He wanted to temporarily get back to what he had been after he had broken ties with his old life (what a polite way of putting it). Back then he had worked hard to be able to provide the necessities of life. At the end of every day he would be so exhausted that he never had the opportunity to lay awake and dwell on his mistakes. Hot dogs were a common source of nutrition. Friends were the people he worked with every day.

So Zach had done exactly that. He left his suits and his wallet, and had gone from town to town in the wilds of Australia, performing menial jobs, living in boarding houses, eating in diners when he could no longer stand another peanut butter sandwich. The only connection to his real life was a cell phone, the number known only by Jack Brauer. As predicted, he never had many idle moments with which to dwell on things. But his subconscious wouldn't let him get away with avoiding the truth. It chose to torment him in dreams. Dreams about his father patting him on the back, while looking in scorn at Michael. Dreams about Michael turning into a sociopath. Dreams about Anna – so many different dreams about her. Sensual Anna. Vindictive Anna. Anguished Anna. Determined Anna. Vulnerable Anna.

Zach had never made such a short appearance at an opening gala, and that included the fated Monte Carlo ball. He wasn't sure why he rushed it. His flight certainly wasn't going to leave any earlier. Maybe it was because he was crawling out of his skin. Also, the way Theresa was making eyes at him was severely irritating. He said a polite goodbye to the ingratiating Theresa, then went to exchange farewells with Jack.

It turned out to be a blessing in disguise that he arrived at the airport much earlier than scheduled. He used his time in the VIP lounge to finally log onto the internet. If he had actually waited to do his research on the airplane, it would have been a huge mistake. The information he found filled him with such grief and despair, that being on an airplane full of people would have been torture.

He started out by doing a search on Anna. He couldn't seem to help himself. In three days it would be three years since that fateful evening when he had planned to propose to her. If she had not recovered her memory, they might even now be married, and she would have been his escort to the ball tonight. Or maybe not. Her feelings for him apparently never ran strong enough to reply to his letter. Maybe she would have turned down his proposal. But then again, he was still haunted by the look in her eyes when they danced at the Port Charles Hotel, last August. The intensity he read in them had shaken him enough that he turned around and left as soon as the song was over. He was so convinced that she was wrong about Michael, that he felt the need to distance himself from her. Otherwise he would have swept her up in his arms and carried her to the nearest hotel suite.

The most recent article that popped up for Anna Devane was from the Pine Valley Bulletin, from last September – only a couple of weeks after the preliminary hearing. The headline was "Chief Devane Resigns from Police Force." It didn't contain a whole lot of information – simply that Anna resigned and would be joining her daughter in Paris. The article stated when she joined the force and what had been her major accomplishments. There was also a link to a related editorial. The person who wrote it speculated that the reason Anna resigned as chief was because she was heartbroken over her inability to put Michael in jail for rape. The editorial also went on to say that the whole town was convinced that something sinister happened to Michael since his disappearance, and it was likely that Anna didn't want to be forced to conduct a murder investigation.

Zach stared at the editorial. Disappearance? Murder investigation? There was a link to another related editorial, from a week earlier. In it, the person was skeptical that Kendall Hart had really done something so vile as to marry the man who raped her sister. Ms. Hart had performed some crazy stunts in the past, but it looked like this supposed quickie wedding in Las Vegas was a ruse to try and get back Enchantment and Fusion. Or it was a cover-up for murder, since the groom was conspicuously absent. Zach's heart started beating harder. This was just an editorial, someone's wild speculation. Kendall and Michael got married? He went back to the search engine and typed in Michael's name. He made sure that the search would show articles in chronological order, from oldest to newest. Going backwards in time would just be confusing.

He scrolled through the articles about Michael's achievements, then later his arrests, and the ones about the rape. He saw the article where Kendall announced that she was married to Michael, and said that he was out of town on business. The next article was the one that hit him in the solar plexus. In late September, Michael's body was found in a meat locker, hanging from a hook. There was an accompanying picture of a body bag on a gurney. Zach was forced to go the men's room and empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He went to the sink and cleaned up, his hands shaking uncontrollably. Michael was dead. His baby brother. Someone murdered him and hung him on a meat hook. He splashed some water on his face to diffuse the re-emerging nausea. He took several deep breaths. The time for grief was later. Right now he wanted to get back and find out who did this to Michael.

The next article of interest Zach found talked of a local named Ryan Lavery, who announced that he, not Michael, had inherited the Cambias empire. Apparently he struck up a rapport with Alexander in his final days, and Alexander changed his will so that in the event there were no grandchildren, Mr. Lavery would inherit everything. So if Michael had lived, he would not have taken over Cambias Industries. Zach made a mental note to ask John Sebastian about Alexander's visitor in his last days. He wondered how this man had managed to sweet-talk the old buzzard out of a fortune. Maybe he had finally become senile.

The next article was about Michael's funeral, which didn't occur until November, when the body was finally released. Then came an announcement from the merry widow that she was pregnant with Michael's child. Zach paused. Michael's child? A possible niece or nephew? There was lots of speculation that it was not real, and she was trying to either garner sympathy as a murder suspect, or wanted to get her hands on the Cambias fortune through the grandchild clause. Less than a week later, the pregnant Mrs. Cambias was arrested for her husband's murder.

The trial didn't start until a month and a half later, in late January. It lasted a whopping four weeks. Halfway into the trial, some fruitcake barged into the courtroom and ripped off Kendall's dress, revealing that her pregnancy was entirely fake. Zach was startled to realize that he was extremely disappointed. But then he saw, to his amazement, a statement by Kendall that she had pretended to be pregnant in order to help her sister, Bianca, hide the fact that she was the one who was pregnant with Michael's child. It also came out during the trial that Kendall was never married to Michael. Two weeks later, Bianca confessed to killing Michael in self-defense. She had apparently suppressed the memory of the deed.

Zach read one last article from two months ago that made him incredibly sad. It reported that Bianca and a friend of hers had both given birth in a remote cabin during a flash flood. The rescue helicopter that was carrying them to safety, crashed, and the incubator carrying Bianca's baby floated away and was later found empty. Michael's child. Born and died on the same day. Zach made another trip to the bathroom.

By the time Zach boarded the airplane, he was a complete wreck. Part of him wanted to skip the flight and go somewhere private to process through his emotions. But he felt like he needed more than anything to get back to the U.S. as soon as possible. He was relieved when he saw that the seats surrounding him would be empty.

After the airplane took off, Zach did another search and found the transcripts from the trial. He also read all the editorials that expressed opinions not contained in the articles. Then he sat back and reviewed all that he had learned. Despite the fact it was never proven that Michael raped Bianca, the townsfolk of Pine Valley were apparently convinced that he did. It came out during the trial that many people had motive, means and opportunity to kill Michael. It was almost right out of Murder on the Orient Express. Hell, maybe it was just like that story. Bianca claims to have been the killer, but it seemed awfully convenient. Because of her already apparent victimized status and claims of self-defense, she wasn't even convicted of killing Michael. That let an awful lot of people off the hook, especially her sister. When it was revealed that Kendall was neither Michael's widow nor carrying his child, the editorialists thought for sure that she would be convicted and sentenced to death.

Did Kendall really kill Michael? When her trial was over, she made a statement to the press that she found Michael's body, and enlisted the help of an Enchantment employee to put him in the meat locker and fake a wedding to make it look like Michael was still alive. She claims to have been afraid that someone she loved had killed Michael, and didn't want anyone prosecuted for it. Seemed like pretty drastic measures to protect someone. Of course, Zach could see himself doing the same thing, if he were in her shoes. The problem was, he knew his own character. He didn't know hers. She could just as easily be a murderess who faked a wedding to save her own hide and cash in on some money at the same time. Or maybe she was protecting someone, but the someone wasn't Bianca.

The more miles the airplane ate up over the Pacific, the more questions Zach had. He wanted answers. Answers that would not come from surfing the internet. A plan started to formulate in his head. Maybe he should go to Pine Valley. Anna wasn't there anymore, and she was the only person who knew of his connection to Michael. By the time the airplane touched down in San Francisco, where he would catch his connecting flight, he was starting to feel more in control. He would find out the truth about Michael. He would clear Michael's name concerning the rape, and find out who really killed him.

When Zach reached his penthouse apartment, he collapsed onto his bed and slept forever. When he finally woke up, he had a meal and then went down to his office and sent for Bobby Warner, his current go-to guy. When Bobby arrived, he looked nervous. "Zach! I didn't think you would be back in town so soon. I figured you would hang around after the casino opening to see how well things were running. Oh, congratulations, by the way, on the new Seasons Gold Coast." Zach smiled. "I have the utmost faith in Jack Brauer, so I left it in his hands. So tell me how things are going here." Bobby fiddled with a pen. "Oh, great. Just super. Plenty of high rollers here this week, and the staff is taking very good care of them." Zach looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You know, Bobby, if there is one thing I hate, its secrets. Don't get me wrong. I have plenty of secrets. But I feel comfortable keeping them, because I know that keeping them hidden is the right thing to do. Some secrets should never see the light of day. But most secrets are a waste of everyone's time. They eventually get found out, and people are more hurt by them as a result. I'm always really annoyed when people keep secrets from me because I can tell that they are miserable. Its better to just let it all out, so that we can all deal with the issues at hand." Zach sat back and waited.

Bobby stared at him a few moments. Then he threw up his hands. "This is why I admire you so much, boss, and why I have you as my mentor. I do have a secret. Its not really my secret, but I'm helping someone keep it. You could say she's like a high roller. She has a very high profile, but she wants to keep a low profile. In fact, she doesn't want anyone to know who she is, and she doesn't want her friends or family to know where she is. She wants to be alone so she can sort out some problems. So, she's adopted a different persona. I've been helping her with that." Zach contemplated this. "A high roller, you say? Is she bringing in money?" Bobby laughed nervously. "I said she's like a high roller, because she is rich and powerful. She isn't doing any gambling…well sometimes she does, with some of the other high rollers. They are quite charmed by her. Lately, though, she has been concentrating on other things. She…um…is one of the show girls in our stage production. Very popular! The audience loves her and keep coming back to see her. So I guess you could say she's bringing in money that way."

Bobby fished through his portfolio and pulled out an 8X10 glossy, handing it to Zach. The caption at the bottom had the name Desiree DuBois. The picture was of a petite woman with a dazzling smile and the most fake looking blond wig he had ever seen. Zach was absolutely stunned. It was Erica Kane. "How did you happen to end up helping this woman hide out? Do you know her from somewhere?" Bobby shrugged uncomfortably, obviously not wanting to give away too many details. "I…uh…she lives in my home town." Zach glanced up at Bobby. Bobby was from Pine Valley? "I have no problem if you want to help Ms…..DuBois keep her secret. This is Vegas. We've certainly done stranger things on behalf of our guests." Zach smiled, and Bobby looked relieved. They discussed some other business, then Bobby left. Zach set the picture of Erica on his desk and stared at it awhile. It looked as if he wouldn't have to go to Pine Valley, at least right away. Pine Valley was apparently coming to him.


	7. feb262005

February 26, 2005

Anna paced the living room. Robin had already kicked her out of the kitchen. She had so much nervous energy. Bianca and Maggie would be here any minute with Miranda. Anna wanted to have them over for dinner yesterday, but they were still experiencing jet lag. Anna still couldn't get over Miranda being alive and well. Who could have ever imagined that such a beautiful miracle could have resulted from such an ugly crime? And she was Zach's niece. Anna wondered if he got to meet Miranda at all. From what she heard through the grapevine, he was pretty well despised in Pine Valley. She still couldn't get over the fact that he actually went there and stirred the foulest pot in town. What really shocked her was that he revealed his identity at long last.

Sean Donely found her not long after she moved to Paris. Ever since, he has periodically recruited her for long term undercover assignments. She was in South America during the time when Zach opened his casino near Pine Valley, and conducted the murder game that resulted in Ryan getting shot. By the time she got back to Paris, about two weeks ago, it had been revealed that he was Alexander Cambias, Junior; that Ethan Ramsey was his son; and Miranda found her way back in Bianca's arms. Ethan was still under arrest for Ryan's attempted murder. Anna sighed as she looked out the window. She couldn't imagine what Zach must be going through. By now he has hopefully come to terms with the reality that his brother was the monster she had claimed him to be a year and a half ago.

She touched the glass of the window, which was cold to the touch. He spent months enduring blow after blow to his psyche, and she had been stuck in the jungles of Bolivia. By now he had to be quite sure that she cared not a damn bit for him. The truth was that she would have been there for him if she had been free. She wouldn't have cared about the risks to her heart. She would have been there. Her reverie was broken by the doorbell. She rushed to answer it.

Anna opened the door and immediately enveloped Bianca in a hug. "Darling girl! Let me look at you! You are absolutely radiant. Motherhood sits well on you. Come in, come in. Where's Miranda?" Bianca laughed at her disappointed expression. "She'll be along shortly. She fell asleep way earlier than usual – I guess still adjusting to the time difference. Maggie and I were afraid that if we brought her while she was sleeping, she might wake up too early and be cranky. So Maggie insisted that I come at the appointed time, and she will bring Miranda when she wakes up."

Anna led Bianca from the foyer to the living room. Robin came out of the kitchen. "Everything is almost ready for lunch. Hi, Bianca. Nice to meet you again." They shook hands warmly. "I look forward to getting to know you, Robin. How is your residency going?" Robin's eyes lit up. "Its going so well. I love my work, absolutely love it." Bianca smiled. "I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable, but I wanted to ask you a favor." Robin indicated the sofa, and they sat down. "Maggie would kill me, so its probably better that she is coming later with Miranda. She left Pine Valley rather abruptly in order to be here with me. She was in medical school, there. I was hoping you could give her some advice on what schools she could apply to here in Paris." Robin smiled warmly. "I would be more than happy to do that for her."

Anna clasped her hands together. "I think the three of you will be very happy here. Certainly you'll be far away from all the drama in Pine Valley." Bianca leaned back. "I hated leaving my loved ones, but you're right. I was suffocating there. You were smart to leave when you did." Anna reached over and put her hand on Bianca's. "Bianca…I want to say I'm sorry for not being there, last year, during Kendall's trial. Sometimes I wonder if I could have done something to…minimize the catastrophe." Bianca smiled wryly. "What could you have possibly done to make it any less horrifying? Derek had to solve the investigation. It was his job. He did the best he could. If I hadn't suppressed the memories, none of it would have ever happened. Just be glad you weren't the one in the hot seat." Anna grimaced. "Poor Derek. It would have eaten me alive to have to solve Michael's murder."

Bianca gave her an assessing look. "Anna, I always got the impression that there was more going on inside your head, regarding Michael. Even when you arrested him on fraud charges, it seemed as if you were struggling with some personal demon. I know you cared about your work, and you were dedicated to upholding the law. But with Michael, in particular, there was this air of…grimness. At the preliminary hearing it was like…well, as you said, it was like you were being eaten alive from the inside out. Am I imagining this? The only thing I could think of was that maybe you knew Michael before he came to Pine Valley."

Anna stood up and paced. Robin watched the exchange, a bewildered expression on her face. "No, Bianca, I never met Michael before he came to Pine Valley. But he did have a very strong connection with someone that I knew. A connection that was revealed to you a few months ago. I…" The doorbell rang. Anna glanced at the door. "It must be Maggie. We'll discuss this later." She opened the door and saw that it was indeed Maggie. She was pushing a stroller. Anna hugged her, and then led her into the apartment. She introduced Maggie to Robin. Maggie turned to Bianca and held up a small package. "On my way here I picked up the pictures from the farewell party. I thought Anna might like to see snaps of everyone." Anna smiled. "Oh, I would. But why don't you show them to Robin, first. I really want to get my hands on this little one."

Bianca unstrapped Miranda from the stroller. "Sweetheart, this is Ms. Anna. She is our very first friend, here in Paris, and we hope to be seeing a lot of her. Want to say hi to Ms. Anna?" Anna held out her arms, tentatively. Miranda gave her a big smile and consented to be held. Anna bounced her up and down, then swayed back and forth. Bianca walked over to where Maggie was pointing out people in various pictures. Anna gazed into Miranda's eyes as the little girl drooled and grabbed a fistful of Anna's hair. "You like my hair, don't you? I could have put it up, but where's the fun in that?" Miranda grinned, and Anna felt prickling in the back of her eyes. "Oh my." When Miranda smiled at her, the resemblance hit her immediately. Zach. Realizing that her smile had turned into a grimace, she started bouncing Miranda a little faster. Miranda lay her head on Anna's shoulder. She remembered a little song, and began to sing it. Anything to distract herself from the thoughts running through her head. Unaware that she was saying it aloud, she said, "You look so much like him, Miranda."

The other three overheard the comment, and seeing the sadness on Anna's face, Maggie immediately stood up from the couch. "Anna! How could you say such a thing in front of Bianca?" Anna turned her head in their direction. "What? What did I say?" Maggie repeated her words. Anna looked mortified. "Oh no, oh no no no, Maggie. I wasn't talking about Michael." Maggie put her hands on her hips. "Who else could you have been talking about?" There was silence as Anna swayed Miranda from side to side and thought of the best way to explain. Robin beat her to the punch. She held up a photograph. "Maybe she was talking about him?" It was a picture of Zach holding Miranda. "I wasn't aware that Zach Slater was living in Pine Valley. Is he somehow related to Miranda?" Bianca looked at Robin in surprise. "Zach is Michael Cambias's brother. You know him?"

Robin's eyes widened. "The man who raped you? Zach is his brother? Mom, how come you never told me this? Or did you know?" Anna stopped swaying and bouncing. "It's a long story." Bianca stood up. "Miranda's asleep in your arms. How about we take her to one of the bedrooms?" Anna led her back to her bedroom, and they put Miranda in the center of the bed, with a surrounding barrier of pillows. When they came back to the living room, Anna suggested they go ahead and eat. "First rule for mothers of babies is to eat when you can." Over lunch Anna explained to Bianca and Maggie about working for Zach while she had amnesia, and how it had grown into a dating relationship. She explained to Robin about Zach's activities since moving to Pine Valley.

They cleaned up and went back into the living room. Anna picked up the photograph of Zach and Miranda. So Zach did get to spend some time with his niece. Her throat constricted tightly at the sight of Miranda snuggling against Zach's shoulder. She always thought he would make a terrific father. She touched Zach's face. She did this without realizing what she was doing, or that she had an audience. Bianca cleared her throat. "So, how serious were you and Zach?" Anna looked up. She lifted one shoulder in an attempt to be nonchalant. "Serious. Because we kept each other's secrets, that drew us pretty close." Maggie cocked her head. "How come you two never connected again after you recovered your memory?" Anna sat down on the couch, looking at Zach's picture again, at the tenderness in his eyes. She remembered how he would look at her that way. "I don't really know the answer to that, Maggie. You would have to ask Zach. He was right there beside me when I lost consciousness. And when I woke up, he was gone." Robin went over to sit beside her. "Mom, I told you why he wasn't there. The doctor felt that you needed to concentrate on your recovered memories. He said that Zach would be too much of a distraction, and might cause more psychological harm than good. Zach really took that to heart. He didn't want you hurt by his presence, so he bowed out."

Anna stood up and went to the window. "You also told me that he said he would write me a letter, that I could read when I was ready." Robin stared at her. "So, what did the letter say?" Anna stared back. "I never got one, Robin! You know that. You gave him your address - he was going to send it to you." Robin shrugged. "I figured when I never got it that he must have found out your address in Pine Valley and sent it to you directly." Anna shook her head, tears starting to fill her eyes. Robin stood up. "Mom, when you never got back together with him, I assumed it was because your feelings for him weren't as strong as his for you." Anna looked at her incredulously. "As strong as his feelings for me? What makes you think they were strong?" Robin raised her palms ceilingward. "It was everything about him. When you passed out at the ball, he carried you to his office like you were made of porcelain. The expression on his face as he watched over you in the hospital. The pain in his eyes as he agreed to stay away from you. And then there was the ring."

Maggie blurted out. "A ring?" Bianca shushed her. Anna stared at Robin with her mouth open. "What…what ring?" Robin led her back to the sofa. "When Zach was getting out the keys to his office, a jewelry box fell out of his pocket. I picked it up. It didn't take me long to figure out what it was." Anna blinked. "What did the ring look like?" Robin laughed. "Mom, you taught me better than that. It would have been rude to open it." Anna rolled her eyes. "Then how do you know it was a ring? Zach gave me earrings not long before that, it could have been something to match it." Robin shook her head. "It was too small to be anything else but a ring. And given the way he was eyeing it while it was in my hands, I knew it was pretty special to him. Mom, he was planning to propose to you. He loved you. Everything about his behavior in regards to you made it clear that you had his heart."

There was a moment of silence, then Bianca gasped. Everyone turned to stare at her. "His heart. Oh my goodness, it makes sense now. When I saw Zach a few days ago, as I was preparing to leave, he said something cryptic. I didn't pay much attention at the time because I was upset with him over his behavior with Ethan. He was holding Miranda and talking to her. He told her that she held half of his heart, and that she was going to Paris to join the other half." Anna felt like her stomach took a swan dive into her toes. She couldn't take it all in. "If…if he was talking about me, that would imply that he still loves me. After four years of silence between us….punctuated by one horrible argument about his brother…even if he did love me then, enough to want to marry me, I find it hard to believe that those feelings are still there."

Robin put her hand on Anna's shoulder. "Mom, _your_ feelings are clearly still there. My God, they're as strong as ever. After all this time. And you never once let on that you were so miserable. Any time I brought up Zach you shrugged him off as ancient history." Anna caressed her cheek. "I wanted to spare you from worrying about me. Hearts heal eventually. You needed to concentrate on your studies." Robin threw up her hands. "For crying out loud. Always the mom. Maybe if you had let me in on your feelings, I would have told you about the ring, and you would have been back with him much sooner. You need to call him. You need to work this out."

Miranda cried from the bedroom. Bianca went to go get her. When she came back, she glanced at Maggie. "We should get going. Its time for her to eat. Thank you for having us over for lunch. It was…amazing to say the least." They gathered up their things and departed. Before walking out the door, Bianca gave Anna the picture of Zach and Miranda. Robin raised one eyebrow at Anna. "You are going to call, right?" Anna ran her fingers through her hair. "The evidence of Zach's feelings for me is all circumstantial. I need more proof." Robin threw up her hands. "Would you put the cop away for once? I mean, how are you going to get proof unless you CALL THE MAN?" Anna's expression was stubborn. "I know of a possible way to find out. I need to go to Monte Carlo." Robin shook her head and hugged her mom.

Later that evening, Anna drove to Monte Carlo. She spent the whole drive mulling over everything that Robin had said to her. Robin was a good judge of people's emotions. She might have been right that Zach did love her back then. It didn't explain why he never sent a letter. She also thought about what Bianca told her that Zach said to Miranda. She tried to figure out what he might have meant, if he wasn't referring to her. It just didn't seem possible. After the way she trashed his brother to his face. He never heard a peep from her when he went through so many trials in the town where she used to live. There was so much water under the bridge that she found it hard to believe that he would still love her, assuming he ever did. Anna did not count the fact that she still loved him. She had tried to deny it to herself, but holding Miranda in her arms had broken down her barriers. Anna didn't know why she held on to love for so long. It was just part of her personality. After she and Robert were torn apart, a piece of her heart still loved him, even when she made a life with Duke. After Duke died, she and Robert rekindled. She couldn't really expect that it would happen the same way with Zach.

Anna parked at the far end of the casino, avoiding the valet. She used sweet talk with any personnel she encountered that recognized her from four years ago. The rest of the time she used stealth and various tools that Sean supplied her with on their recent jobs. If she had used ordinary burglary tools, she might have been more concerned. The fact that it took WSB-grade equipment to break into the manager's office filled her with satisfaction. She looked around the office. Most of the time it was used by the general manager. Zach told her that he planned to come here only occasionally, and asked her to design a special wall safe that no one else knew about, for his files. She went over to a wall that was decorated with large wooden squares in two alternating shades. She pressed a spot on one of the squares. It silently popped open. Since the head of security didn't know about this particular safe, she doubted that the combination had been changed in four years. She punched in "0521" and turned the handle. It opened.

What she saw inside filled her with memories. When Zach had whisked her off to Switzerland for Valentines Day, they did a lot of window shopping. One time she saw an intricately carved wooden box, and bought it for Zach. She told him he could put his most treasured possessions in it. He had held the box up to her and said that the box was too small. With trembling hands, Anna lifted the box out of the safe. She went over to the desk and turned on the desk lamp. She took a deep breath and lifted the lid. Her eyes immediately zeroed in on the jewelry box. Peripherally she noticed an envelope. She picked up the jewelry box. Robin was right, it was too small to be anything but a ring. Biting her lip, she popped it open. Inside, there was indeed a ring, nestled in black velvet. It was a princess cut diamond, more than 2 carats. On either side were two small emeralds, sculpted to vaguely resemble two leaves. It was breathtaking. The light from the desk lamp reflected off every facet. She snapped it closed again, unable to look at it any more. Where had it all gone wrong? Had her stubbornness and fear of being hurt really robbed them of four years? What about the damn letter?

Her eyes fell on the envelope that had been next to the ring. She picked it up. It was plain, unaddressed, and unsealed. She pulled out three pieces of paper and unfolded them. The top page looked like a photocopy of a letter. It was addressed to her, and it was in Zach's writing, on her personal stationary from when she was still Amanda Dover. Her mouth dropped open. Was this it? The letter? She smoothed out the page and read it.

Dearest Anna,

I think it might take me awhile to get used to calling you by that name, when you've been Amanda in our most intimate moments. I can't begin to tell you how much I wish I were there with you, at this time. You're in the hospital, reliving all the best and worst moments of your life. I want to be by your side, holding your hand. I've been told that isn't a good idea. I want you to get well, and be able to process through all these new old memories without my face muddying the waters. So I am backing off, for now.

Last night - it seems like ages ago - I was leading you out to the veranda to tell you something. I was going to tell you that I love you. On this special night, a year after we first met, I wanted you to know everything that was in my heart. I was hoping to find out if what I saw in your eyes every time you looked at me was a reflection of what I felt for you. There was something very important I wanted to discuss with you. I still want to have this discussion, but I understand that it has to wait until you are ready.

Please, let me emphasize one thing. I know that your world has just been thrown completely off-kilter. I would understand if whatever feelings you had for me, right up to the moment you saw Robin, have changed. Even if that is the case, I still want you to respond to this letter. I think both of us need a resolution to this relationship, one way or another. I have made the first step by writing this down. The next step is yours. Take your time, however much you need, but please contact me. You know where to find me. I won't make any more attempts to contact you, because I do not want to pressure you. I love you, and all I care about is that you are happy. I want nothing more than for you to smile again, to laugh again.

Very much yours,

Zach

Tears streamed down Anna's face as she finished reading the letter for the third time. It was two pages long, and for the first time Anna looked at the third page. It was a photocopy of an envelope with an address. It was her name, and the address where Robin lived while she was still at school, before she took up her residency across town. Anna frowned, looking closer. The apartment number was incorrect. It was #77. Robin had lived at #11. Anna stared at the number, her mouth hanging open. He sent it to the wrong address? Perhaps if Robin's name had been on it, the occupants at #77 would have recognized her, and passed it on. No one would have known Anna Devane.

Anna dropped the pages and put her head in her hands. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have not considered that he might have sent the letter, and it got lost? It would have been so simple to call him. Call him and ask to have a talk. Instead she stubbornly waited for a piece of paper to be her invitation. The kicker was that all this time she waited for his letter, he was waiting for her response. He kept his word about not contacting her, except the time he wanted to talk about his brother. And when they finally met again, it turned into a face-off. They never addressed their feelings, remaining stubbornly in their own corner. What a mess. Anna read the letter for the fourth time. When she was done, she put her head in her arms and wept.

Zach approached the office, and saw a light under the door. That was strange. He'd been told downstairs that the general manager had left for the day. It was the only reason he came up here, so he could have some privacy. He needed to think long and hard about what he would say to Bianca. They had not parted on good terms, and he couldn't bear it if he were kept out of Miranda's life. Being here at the casino was really an excuse to be in the area. "Well, I was in Monaco on business, and decided to stop by…" He refused to contemplate the fact that Anna was in Paris, also. One heart-wrenching scenario at a time was enough for him.

Now he was forced to deal with a possible intruder. He wondered if he should call security or handle it himself. Better handle it himself in case it was something innocent. He crept up to the door and put his ear to it. It was a waste of time. He had wanted the doors to be virtually sound-proof so that he or the manager could have complete privacy. If he simply opened the door, he would have no idea what awaited him. Whoever it was could be armed. He decided to head over to the security room. He greeted the team of people that monitored all the cameras in the casino and hotel. He went over to one of the private consoles, and entered the code to turn on the camera in the manager's office. He was the only one with the code. An image snapped onto the screen of the interior of the office. Someone was seated behind the desk, their head resting on the desk. From the length of the hair, it appeared to be a woman. He turned on the sound and heard snuffling noises.

It was then that he noticed what was on the desk. The carved wooden box from Switzerland was sitting open on the desk, empty. He saw paper scattered on the desk. The letter. The woman was clutching something in her hand, that could have been the ring box. My God. It was Anna. He quickly turned off the camera, and had to seriously restrain himself from flying down the hall to the office. He casually flung open the door, and entered. Anna catapulted upright at the sound of the door. She stared at him in amazement. "Zach." He walked over to the desk and stared down at the three scattered pages. "Why are you looking at a copy of the letter? Regretting that you threw the original away?"

She shook her head. "I didn't throw it away, Zach. However, I'm betting that it was thrown away by the person who received it, since it wasn't addressed to them." He stared at her for a moment, trying to comprehend her meaning. He cocked his head, waiting for an explanation. She held up the copy of the envelope. "Robin's apartment number was 11. I think you might have thought her ones were sevens because she wrote them in the European manner." He took the page from her and stared down at it. "The writing was a little blurred by her tears. Because she's American, I never would have guessed they were ones." Anna wiped away a stray tear. "She had to learn to write it that way for medical school." Zach slowly sat down in one of the chairs facing the desk. "So you never got the letter?" She shook her head. "No. And I waited for it, Zach. Instead of taking initiative and calling you, I waited for it. And because I never got it, I assumed that you had moved on."

Zach rubbed his hand over his face. "Why did it never occur to me that you might not have gotten it?" She shook her head. "For the same reason it never occurred to me that you sent one. We're both a couple of stubborn, prideful, heart-guarding cowards. Well, I am anyway. You wrote this beautiful letter..." She stopped, unable to continue past the lump in her throat. He gripped the arms of his chair. Tears welled in his eyes, and his voice became even more gravelly. "Why now? Why did you come looking for the truth, now?" Anna took several deep breaths. "Because I learned a very valuable lesson about adult children. I learned that I should have given my daughter credit for being mature and intelligent, and should not have thought that she couldn't handle the burden of my problems. I never told her how I felt about you, never told her how hurt I was that I didn't get the letter. I finally confided in her today, and she told me all about the ring and her assessment of your feelings. And then there was what Bianca told me."

Zach leaned forward. "You saw Bianca?" Anna nodded. "She and Maggie and Miranda had lunch with Robin and I today. It was a very enlightening time. When Bianca heard all that Robin had to say about you, she told us about what you said to Miranda." Zach thought a few moments, then realized what she meant. "When I told Miranda that she had half my heart." Anna nodded. "And you told her she was joining the other half in Paris."

Anna stood up, suddenly no longer able to sit still. She went over to the window and looked out at the night lights of Monte Carlo. She felt, rather than heard Zach come up behind her. "I didn't want to be presumptuous and jump to the same conclusions that Robin and Bianca had. I needed to see for myself. I needed proof." She held up the ring box that she had been gripping in her hand the whole time. "I have the proof that you loved me then. But I really don't know, do I, whether it's true now. What Bianca said, it could have meant something else. I…" Before she could say another word, Zach turned her around and pulled her to him. "Nothing in that letter has changed. God help me, after all this time, my heart is still very much yours." He kissed her. She wound her arms around his neck, tightly. She had longed for this moment so much.

He pulled away and gazed into her eyes, smoothing her hair back. He chuckled. "We used to joke about that movie, To Catch A Thief. And here you are, in Monte Carlo, breaking and entering to get your hands on a piece of jewelry." Anna laughed through her tears and looked down at the ring box. Zach tilted her head up. "It's yours, if you want it." Tears welled up in her eyes again. "I want _you_, Zach." He pulled her to him more tightly. "You have me, Anna. Finally, we have each other."


	8. may212005

May 21, 2005

Anna walked down the shore from the changing house. She was holding the hem of her gown up with one hand, and a single calla lily in the other. The gown was a simple ivory sheath with spaghetti straps and random pearl accents. Her hair was down and her feet were bare. It was a bit blustery for May, but the sun was shining low in the sky. As she neared the small gathering of people, she had to laugh. Zach had done away with his tie, as she figured he would. What she didn't anticipate was that he had rolled up his trouser legs to mid calf. He was also barefoot. The touch of devil-may-care was one of many signs that Zach finally felt at peace with the world. He didn't have to hide behind a façade of suits and unreadable expressions. Anyone passing by could see that he was happy.

Now all that was needed was to pass his attitude on to his son. Ethan wasn't quite as ready to shed the formal aspect of his nature. He still had on his tie, and his shoes. Robin was wearing a midnight blue dress that fell to just below the knees. Her touch of whimsy was in a pair of flip flops that were also midnight blue, but were covered in sparkles. Anna smiled at Robin and Ethan. "Thank you for being our witnesses." Robin grinned impishly. "I finally get that brother I always wanted." Ethan's smile was stiff, but warm. "I can see already that I'm in for it."

Zach couldn't take his eyes off Anna. Her eyes were dancing, her smile never dimmed. She was finally happy again, and he couldn't believe that he was the one who made her that way. He saw her look up the beach, and then she turned to him with a mischievous grin. "Zach, I see that my wedding present is arriving." Zach gazed at her, letting her know without words that she was all he needed. But he obliged his future wife by looking in the direction that she pointed. His heart melted at the sight of Bianca and Maggie approaching. Bianca was holding Miranda in her arms. Anna stood next to Zach and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I know we decided to keep it simple – just Robin and Ethan – that way we wouldn't be tempted to invite more and more people until it got out of control. But how could we leave out Miranda? I just couldn't do it." Zach turned to face Anna, and lifted his hands to cradle the sides of her face. "Thank you." He kissed her for a long time, until the minister harrumphed. "I believe that is supposed to happen at the end of the ceremony."

Zach and Anna broke the kiss, laughing. The minister smiled and winked at them. He opened his little Bible and cleared his throat. As he spoke the words that began the time-honored tradition of the joining of two hands in holy matrimony, Zach and Anna faced each other, both of their hands clasped in the others'. They did not notice Maggie snapping pictures on her digital camera, or Ethan bouncing Miranda up and down, trying to distract her from her very clear desire to get down from his arms and toddle down the beach. They barely even noticed the sun beginning to set, and the lights of Monte Carlo starting to wink on as twilight came upon them. They only had eyes for each other.

As they held each other's gaze, they both thought back to that first day that they met, exactly five years ago. Both of their lives were covered in infinite darkness cast by shadows of the past. Together they found a ray of light in each other, but their past caught up with them, and enveloped them in darkness again. Now the past has firmly been put behind them. They chose sunset for their ceremony as a symbol. Because their love burns brightly, they will never fear darkness again.

_Author's note: I chose May 21 to be a date of significance to Zach and Anna for the simple reason that it is my birthday. On the show, major events in their lives did happen around that date, so it seemed fitting. Most notably, Zach Slater appeared on All My Children on May 20, 2004. What a nice birthday present for me. The gift that keeps on giving._

_For the first time in one of my fanfics, I am offering a chance to be drawn further into the story through a slide show I created. It contains screen caps of Zach and Anna (provided by and groups. and features the song presented in chapter 3 - Sweet Dreams by Air Supply. If you go to my profile, you can find the link._

_I hope you enjoyed this story. It is my favorite, so far, of all the fanfic I've written. Thank you._


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